I lost my fiancé close to two years ago now to a drunk driver. I am still so angry and sad that he has left me here to live life without him. I still am in disbelief that his life was taken while he was home in the states where he should be safe. Sometimes it feels like he is just out on deployment, I know he is never coming back. I am trying to move forward with life I know that’s what he would want I hold a lot of guilt by doing so. I don’t know if I am alone with this feeling or if it’s just not being ready to be involved with someone. My marine was my life my partner my best friend one person who loved me for me unconditionally. I truly feel like he took my soul when he left, I feel so empty and cold inside.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I don't think you're alone with that feeling at all, in fact I think it's called Survivor Guilt and is very common. What happened to him and you is absolutely tragic and it's totally normal you would feel devastated. Two years isn't a long time, it took me three years after leaving my ex boyfriend to be ready to date again and he didn't die and I've still not actually been on a date as I just haven't found anyone I was interested in enough. I think, just give yourself as long as you need, and keep supporting yourself in your grieving journey. Have you got a counsellor or therapist who understands grief? If not I think that could help. That and keeping sharing on here. Would it help to tell us more about him? Any happy and funny memories that you remember about him? Also, I know that your marine will be looking down on you and wishing you, when you're ready, to keep moving forward with your life and to lead a happy, full life. Then when it's your time to go, you will join him again and you can tell him all about your did on earth after he'd left and be together again. But right now you're still on earth, so that means you're here for a reason, that you have more life to live, more opportunities ahead of you including many wonderful things to experience, new people to meet, new connections to form, new places to visit.
I'm sorry for your loss. Grief has no time limit. I think when you truly love someone it takes a long time to heal from losing them. I've had a lot of loss in my life but losing my fiancee and the father of my kids is the worse loss I've been through. You've lost a part of you so I no its hard. A piece of my heart is gone and I'll never get it back. I pray that we both get stronger with each passing day.
