Sudden loss of Mother and Best Friend

First let me say I am so sorry for all of the losses felt on this site. I am dealing with the sudden loss of my mother who passed away September 25. It was so unexpected and sudden that I still wake up and can not believe she is not coming home (she also lived with me at my home in VA). The circumstances are so unbelievable that it almost seems crazy.

We flew to S. Florida for my older brothers wedding which was Saturday September 22, the night of the rehearsal dinner (Friday) my mother got a piece of steak caught in her throat, they could not dislodge it and she passed out. She was taken to the hospital and finally they were able to remove the blockage however, at this time she had been oxygen deprived for over 5 minutes. She was moved to MICU and kept on a ventilator. After consulting with a cardiologist, a Pulmonary doctor and then a Neurologist it was determined that she suffered irreversible severe brain damaged and I made the decision to make her comfortable and move her to hospice, she passed 10 hours later.

After hours of research and going through the internet to find answers, I found this site and figured there may be people out here that can help as I get through this difficult time.

 

Sorry to hear about your mother. I lost my mother suddenly in May. She complained about being tired the day before and went to bed early that night. I went upstairs to bring my father his medication the next morning and found my mother on the floor. She was already cold and stiff. I found this site the same way you did. I hope you find it helpful.

 

My partner died in the same manner though from a dif f erent cause. His was cardiac a r r est. W/o oxygen too long. Brain dead.

You're right; it is crazy and makes no sense. And you will start to feel crazy, if you haven't already, b/c her death makes no sense.

Welcome to the grief world. In addition to mental effects, grief can cause tremendous physical effects: exhaustion, panic attacks, appetite changes and many more. You might also have memory loss. Take it easy on yourself

 

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, and yes I feel like it is so unbelievable, I am angry and want to blame my brother and then I am guilty cause I blame him....

 

I don't think it really solves anything to blame someone else. It was a tragic event. He didn't want her to die any more than you did.

Last night I listened as a young woman whose husband died in a traffic accident caused when he has a medical emergency five years ago say her former mother in law blames her for the accident and has made her life hell ever since. This woman never really grieved over her husband b/c she has been dealing with the other woman's blaming. Care to guess if the mother in law grieved over her son? Probably not b/c she is too busy finding a culprit. There are parallels between that tragedy and yours