Sudden and unexpected

In regards to Star Trek and Captain Kurt you guys posts are on a warp speed. I can hardly keep up. Lou I really enjoyed the of the Buddha story and the gliding ducks . Deb I remember going to a monarch butterfly seminar and they were tagging monarchs and releasing them. This batch was going to make the long trip to Mexico. A butterfly broke its wing while they released it But the naturalist picked it up and put a piece of scotch tape on the butterflies wing. The butterfly flew away and the naturalist said never under estimate the power of nature. The power of nature is what heals us too. I can have a complete personality change after entering the Woods. Patti And Karen I can relate to you feeling so secure with your Jacks. I felt the same way with Cheryl. She supported me through a knee replacement and a prostatectomy. I was hoping to get the chance to pay her back and when I was performing CPR on Cheryl I thought that would be my big chance. Whenever there was a blizzard Cheryl would help me shovel out. Whenever there was a remodel project Cheryl was right there beside me. When the dull dark days of the winter and the Covid isolation hit I experienced depression and Cheryl was always happy and cheerful. Cheryl helped me Retrieve 2 deer that I couldn’t find. No matter what different or challenging things Cheryl would do with me she always did her very best. I’m choking up writing this. I learned in the grief support meeting yesterday that the grief is like pneumonia in our lungs we have to get it out. Lou I can’t keep up with all the nice compliments and helpful suggestions that you give to me. I want to thank you from the bottom my heart. Thanks. Gary☮️

 

Karen,

Thanks so much for the advice. It's nice to have someone agree with me that I need to feel a bit stronger first. My dream is to find a dog who will make a good therapy dog. I've always wanted to be able to train a dog to bring him/her to nursing homes, hospitals, schools, etc...

Patti replied to all of us on a different thread. She is in a lot of pain and said that you were right, she had to go through this surgery all alone. As I told her, my heart hurts for her... I let her know that she is in all of our prayers and that all of her friends on GIC love her.

I hate this widow foggy brain thing!!! I think she quoted my message to her when she responded, but it was for all of us. I think it's on the thread "I'm A Wreck Without My Wife."

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Gary,

First, sending lots of hugs your way... Memories.... they're so bittersweet. Triggers are everywhere... Cheryl loved you with all her heart, it is obvious from the things you're sharing with us. And it is just as obvious, that you loved, and still love Cheryl, with all your heart too. I truly believe she is watching over you. I know that all of the things you're doing to help yourself move forward without her, not only would make her very proud, but very happy too.

Backing up just a bit, the story about the butterfly is so beautiful... It's making me teary eyed. I agree with you, that the power of nature heals us. I always feel so much better after spending time alone, being in nature, amazed at all the beauty God created. Like Lou, the ocean is my very favorite place on earth. After Bob died, I've only been able to go to the ocean once. It was very bittersweet. Bob loved the ocean as much as I do, and manyof the very best times in our lives were spent by the ocean. Some of my friends think it would be good for me to walk along the shore, just let those tears flow, but I can't handle it yet. I'm still too emotionally fragile.

Sort of off, sort of on subject, Lou was right when he said something like we're keeping the Kleenex company in business (or did he say we should invest in it???). I know I sound like a broken record, but this foggy widow brain SUCKS big time!!!

Sending you more hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Karen, I loved your bird story, as it
pertained to Jack. I wish I had a similar
story about Linda. Way back in our
marriage, I was acting strange. I was on a
beach, and thought a seagull was my
late great aunt, reincarnated. Turned
out I needed a meds change & had to stay
in a hospital, for 10 days, for the new
meds to take effect. My Jekyll & Hyde
behavior was scary, and I said some things to Linda that I shouldn't have. She forgave
me bc I was "off my meds". Usually, I'm a
nice guy. If you someone

 

Deb, I said we were "keeping the
Kleenex company in business".I'm too
"foggy" to invest in anything, except my
own well being right now. I seem to like
being taken care of by women: Kim, the
PT, the manicurist, the nurses at the
cataract center, my NP, my 28 year old
barber, who could be the grandaughter
I never had! I told her, early on, that I
was a widower. She was very kind to me,
as she gave me a "senior rate" haircut. Then, I asked about her life. She has a lot
of relatives & friends in the city, and we
have a lot of laughs now. One day, she
had had it with COVID, the constant
sanitizing, the masks, which she had to
gently pull to one side. She did a series of
F-bombs, to get it out of her system. She
said her father hated it when she swore
like a sailor, but, I said, in this case, it was
good to let it out. Linda used to do that,
when she would drop something on the
floor, and it was difficult for her to pick it
up. Well, I replied to you & Gary ( and
George earlier), but now it's time for
Karen. Lou

 

Thank you, Karen, I did turn out OK,
despite my parents. They were OK when
I was a boy, but got worse later in life, bc
they had a loveless marriage. I remember
an Everybody Loves Raymond episode,
when Ray turns to a worried Debra, and
says, "We are NOT our parents........". That
line stayed with me, and I quoted it to
Linda. Linda's birth date appears on my
phone all the time, sometime after
breakfast. Seeing it, used to make me
choke up. Almost 3 years later, it makes
me smile, that Linda is with me. I think I
cut off my reply to you before. I said I was
usually a nice husband to Linda when I
stayed on my meds. It irritates me when
I see that a horrible crime occurs, like a
rape, or a mass shooting, and the reporter
will say that the perpetrator had bipolar
disorder, omitting the crucial detail that
the person was "off his meds". That is
something I never did. Lou

 

Jack's cousin has bipolar and won't admit it. They found out after she almost ran over her Father while drinking. They put her on meds, but she quit taking them. So far, I think she's okay. I don't see her, she lives in Texas alone.
Yes, we are not our parents, but they do influence us growing up. As children we only know what our parents teach us and hopefully as an adult we can change our thinking, meaning become who we are meant to be and want to be. Hope I'm making sense here.

 

Lou I love the barber who dropped all the F bombs story. Deb thank you for your kind words and your beautiful thoughts about Cheryl watching over me. Have you ever thought about what it is like in the afterlife? I don’t mean how blue the sky is or or how serene and peaceful it is. But how the people interact with each other there. I’ve been wondering do people have relationships in heaven? If so I would not oppose Cheryl from having a relationship with another person at all. in fact I’d be very happy for her. If and when I make it through those pearly gates I believe that we would all love each other and there would be no dominion of one another. I also believe if I fell in love again I believe Cheryl would love that person to. I’m too emotionally unstable for relationship yet. I haven’t checked any of the dating sites out yet either. But I can’t envision being alone the rest of my life either. Another thing I was wondering about. Where is the promised land? The ancients believed it is in the star constellation Orion. To be more specific the belt of the Orion. There was something uncovered in the Egyptian pyramids that the archaeologist referred to as the ship of eternity. They believed the soul of a person could be shot from a gun on the ship of eternity like a proton to the belt of the Orion. I believe there are no bounds of space and time in the eternal life. Strictly my opinion but I believe the souls of our mates can come here and go back there in the blink of an eye. Seriously those are my beliefs. I admire you Deb for considering getting a service dog and helping other people. Gary

 

Thank you for telling me about Jack's
cousin. That was a scary close call. I'm
glad nobody was hurt or killed. I hope this
woman is OK, but generally speaking,
the medications correct a chemical
imbalance in the brain. Not only do I0
continue to take them ( or I'd wind up in
the hospital again, but I have to have
periodic blood tests to monitor the
medications in my system. I feel fine
now, much better than when I was
drinking, and not getting enough sleep.
Lou

 

I've always hated that name, Bipolar, where in the heck did they come up with that? So glad you have it under control. Hey, how was your day today 13th? Did you make it through okay thinking about Linda's birthday? I hope so. K

 

Lou,

Thanks for reminding me that you said we're keeping the Kleenex company in business, I hope they appreciate us!!! It was driving me batty when I couldn't remember what you said. BTW, I gave George (?? foggy widow brain sucks big time, total understatement!!!) the wrong date in a message I sent to him and this is where you're probably getting the 13th from. Bob died on the 11th, but as you said, or at least I think you said in a much earlier message, "let's just say this month sucks!" (???) I totally agree!!!

I have to confess, I also drop the F-bomb from time to time. I'm glad that you have found so many women to take care of you. You deserve to be well taken care of.
Love how easily you make friends and how different all of them are from each other. Makes me think of that old saying, "variety is is the spice of life."

I'm way too frazzled to "talk" I'm emotionally and physically drained, so stopping here. As always, thinking of Bob right about now.

I hope you're having a relaxing evening and getting plenty of rest. Friday will be here before you know it.

In case I don't make it back here tonight, sleep well...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace, DEB

 

Lou,

When I read your reply to Karen, I had to respond. I HATE II!!! too when horrible crimes happen, we're told the person has bipolar, without any other details given. There are still way too many ignorant people out there, especially when it comes to dealing with mental illnesses. Getting off my soapbox before I even get started!!! A
Also, have to stop because I need to veg out on the couch for awhile, maybe watch something light and totally mindless. I'll probably fall asleep in a matter of minutes.

So for the last time tonight, goodnight and sleep well... I'll be back tomorrow.

As always sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace.

I hit something, it took me forever to find this. I thought it would spend eternity floating around somewhere in cyberspace.

 

Gary, glad you liked the barber story.
The fact is that I like to be around women.
Right now, most of them are a lot younger
and married. I agree with you that I don"t
want to be on a dating site, either. I don't
want to get married again, but I can't
rule out a companionship with a woman,
someone with whom to share walks by the
ocean, meals together, and yes, hugs and
affection. It's been almost 3 years since
Linda's death. As I told Deb & others, when
Linda became ill, she made me promise to
be happy and even to find another woman.
When I protested the idea, she turned to me,
mischievously, and said, "WELL, if something
happened to YOU, I would find another man"!
I have quoted that story to friends, who never
knew Linda, but they laughed at how clever &
witty she was with me. If I were to meet a
woman, she would probably be a daytripper
from the city. I've lived & worked in the city,
but this small town is my forever home now,
God willing. If a woman were to move here,
and we had a connection, ideally it would be
good for her to have her own place. I like
the quiet of my apartment, and the freedom to
come & go. Lou

 

Deb, you're not the only one with a "foggy"
brain. I told a new member, PJ, from Maine about Oct 13 being significant for
George, you. and me. Duh. I laughed when
you said. "sucks big time!", bc sometimes
Linda said that about me! As for "total
understatement...!", that's all you! Thanks
for teaching out, even though you're
"fried". I'll be going to bed soon myself.
I'm better at replying to posts in the am,
but lately, I've answered Karen in the
middle of the night, bc of the 3 hour time
difference. Gary is now matching us in
word power. If this were a horse race,
Karen would be closing in! Now, we have a
new member, PJ, a writer, who seems to
enjoy writing as an outlet,like we do. Let's
not forget George, Patti, and others, who
write short stories instead of "novels" but
are still very much interesting to listen to.
Pleasant dreams, Deb. Lou

 

To all,
Still need a name for our chapters in this novel? I think Lou could come up with something? Or let's put it to a vote, everyone can suggest.

 

Thank you for answering me, Karen,
before I go to bed ( 9:30 pm, my time!).
I don't like the term bipolar, either. When
I was hospitalized at 30, in 1980, I was
diagnosed with manic depression, a
term I prefer. One of my heroes is an author, Kay Redfield Jamison. She wrote a
book called, Touched with Fire, about
famous painters, writers, musicians,
statesmen, etc. who had manic depression.
A man whose paintings touched me, was
Van Gogh, which is why I used him as my
user name. The remarkable thing is that
Dr. Jamison has manic depression herself
and also prefers that term. She also
feels that manic depression is part of who she is, as a writer, lecturer, and professor.
Dr. Jamison would not want to give up
that part of her, and neither would I.
Thanks for asking about Linda's birthday,
the 3rd since she died. It DOES get better.
I told 2 people: Kim, who's like a daughter
I never had, and Haley, my 28 year old
barber, who's like a grandaughter I never
had. Both of them said the same thing,
which moved me: "Happy Birthday,
Linda". Lou

 

Thank you for clearing that up regarding manic depression and details you have mentioned. Good night, K

 

Thanks for your interest, Karen. Just
about to go to sleep, but wanted to
check in, one more time. Pleasant
dreams. Lou

 

Lou,

Answering this one a bit late. I can't believe I'm the first one here this morning, a first, total understatement!!! (couldn't help myself!!!) I hope you got a good night's rest. I got about 3 solid hours, then woke up only because of my plumbing system, enough said. Today is going to be a beautiful, sunny day, but I think the humidity is creeping back in. I'm still a bit comatose, but am only allowing myself one cup of caffeine this morning. As usual, I want to hit the pavement before it starts getting hot.

Wait, almost forgot, my son, the one works at a state university and teaches biology, told me about a zoom job interview he has tomorrow. It's the second one for a position that he is very interested in, lots of field research, something he enjoys. While he likes teaching, he wants to live in a different part of the country. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Another one of those TBC's. Backing up a bit, I can't even begin to imagine interviewing for a job on zoom.... Stopping here, before I turn this into a long chapter. This reminds me of one of Karen's latest messages....

Hope you're enjoying the start of another interesting, fun day.... On your way, or already on your first cup of coffee, while sitting outside, overlooking the ocean.

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Karen,

Love this!!! It'll give me something to think about on my walk this morning....

Hope you're still sound asleep...

TTYL...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB