Sudden and unexpected

OMG Deb when I read your LMSO meant laugh my socks off. I had the biggest LMSO ever laughed my sad off. LMSO! That is outrageously funny. Thank you again for the LMSO! Gary

 

Ooh, options! Laugh My Sad Off or Laugh My Socks Off! Thank you Deb and Karen for the responses!

Karen, this storm! Firstly...YAY FOR RAIN!! It was awesome. I love rainy grey days anyway. But we've needed this rain for so very long. I am grateful. We have many puddles and a flooded gutter, but nothing serious where I am. I would imagine the foothills may be flash flooding but I'm taking a forever break from the news now. I can't take anything more than what I'm already dealing with. So the news had to go. I get my weather from the weather channel app on my phone.

Thank you for the welcome. Hope you have a restful night. ♥

Marcey

 

Good morning to TGW. I’m finding myself getting overwhelmed again trying to keep up with two threads. I’m going to break on through to the other side; Stages of grief:anger. i’ve got a really busy day. Gary

 

Good Morning Gary,

I hope your busy day has some genuine smiles in it.

 

Goodest mornings to TGWs! I'm just replying here i have no clue about social media type stuff too so I just wing it.... I am in a not good place! I just had to say that. The projeckt I'm completing is selling this house that we should have never moved into we were so stupid 17 years ago. I ramble because I'm not doing good. The house project is NOT going well but then again I have nothing to base this on except my own massive insecurities and neurotic whatIFs! I think my grief has gone underground and subconsciously is poking and prodding me most unpleasantly. Well I have my grief group today will see how that goes. The last thing I remember watching with valerie was Breaking Bad we got the DvDs from the library. We had a great time watching it. I don't want to watch stuff anymore...

 

Good Morning GWS,

I feel like I need caffeine injected IV style this morning, TU!!! Marcey, I think I can beat Uncle Fester in the bag department today... I hope you managed to catch some zzz's last night, but from "seeing you here so early today, it sounds like it didn't happen. I hope you can at least get a nap in today. Lou, I hope you're feeling much better and were able to fall back asleep last night. I hope you have a good day, either by the ocean, or are on that bus, another adventurous day ahead... Backing up just a bit, Gary, I can't take credit for the "laugh my socks off," Karen gets the credit for that one. Laughter is such an underrated thing, another TU!!! If I remember, I think you said today is going to be a busy one. I hope it's a productive one with many reasons to LMSO!!! George, sending you lots of extra hugs this morning... Karen, haven't seen you around very much lately (but it's easy for me to miss messages, foggy widow brain SUCKS BIG TIME!!!), I hope you're okay and are able to enjoy some time outside, maybe on your deck... Fresh air, sunshine.. are so good for us. Sending extra hugs your way... Denise, I hope you found this thread!!! If you see this, I'm thinking about you this morning, and hope you managed to get some much needed sleep last night. I'm guessing your mornings are way beyond busy, having to take care of your son, get to work, especially because of how exhausting grieving is. I find that it takes me at least twice as long, if not longer to get anything accomplished. Want to "talk" to you. Hope we can "get together" later... Robin, please don't feel like you have to respond. I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and Teddy this morning... Sending lots of hugs to the both of you. Patti, I hope you get a walk in. I love that you're knitting scarfs. You are such a kind, caring person, always thinking about others... Handmade scarfs, sweaters, etc., are so beautiful, and so much nicer than anything you can buy in a store because they're made with love. I hope I didn't leave anyone out... I not only have that widow foggy brain thing going on, but I'm functioning in super slo mo, TU!!!

I hope all of TGW have at least one reason, but many more reasons to LMSO today... , have the best day you possibly can...

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

George, after 3 years of regret, worry,
& survivor's guilt, I have come to realize
the old phrase of "shoulda, coulda,
woulda" does us no good. I know that's
easy for me to say, in my nice apartment,
but, don't forget that it was also a struggle
emotionally, mentally, & physically, to
move. I hope you can vent at your grief
group today. Perhaps you will find common ground like you do here. I just
got an email, with a daily quote. This one
was about anger, and is perfect for you.
Other people get these quotes, like Deb &
Karen. It's even easier to get on the site
than GIC. It's called Center for Loss. Hope
you have a chance to try it. You just need
to send them your email address. Lou

 

Morning, Deb. Incredibly, your message
to me was at 10:13, Linda's birthday
AGAIN! As we know from Tom Zuba, that's
a sign that Linda still cares about me.
It occurs to me that she may be speaking
through you. You & Linda are alike in so
many ways. Hope you don't have to reach
for another tissue. I did get back to sleep,
and enjoyed writing my autobiography (!)
to Marcey, who also had trouble sleeping.
She is funny, like the rest of TGW. I
usually here from Denise at night, bc
she has to go off in the am. She, too, is
funny. I think humor, sometimes dark
humor, and a belief in God,has kept me
going. We have a Nor'easter, like Robin
does, but I was able to walk by a
magnificent, angry ocean, under
threatening gray skies, before a predicted
heavy winds, rain, & possible coastal
flooding. My apartment bldg. is higher
up, so I'm OK. How is it in S.C. ? Correction:
hear from Denise, not "here". Did you
catch that Karen?!! Beuller? Beuller? Lou

 

Deb, I can't take credit for LMSO, I think it was Gary who posted it first.

To let everyone know if I don't respond until next Monday don't think I died and went to heaven, although I know many of us, after losing our love one, wished we had.
My sister and husband are coming to stay with me and help with computer work Jack left with no passwords, etc. Of course, a trip to Costco. Blessings, K

 

Well, I think I may be getting senile, had to go back up to catch it, but I did get a laugh out of it especially Beuller. Did you see the movie?
Originally from the cult classic movie "FerrisBeuller's Day Off" in which the eponymous hero is absent from school and his teacher, while taking the class register in a deadpan voice repeats "Beuller? Beuller? Beuller?" over and over with no response.

I posted on Deb's post, but again, I might not be on GW much until next Monday, so don't think I died and gone to heaven, which I did wish after Jack died I had gone too.
My sister and husband are coming to stay with me and help with Jack's computer, no passwords, etc. and finances.

Your sense of humor seems to be coming out more and more, what vitamins are you taking? Give me some. K

 

Karen, did you like my "Beuller? Beuller?"
reference when I was reaching out to you?We will miss you & your witty comments
the next few days. To set the record
straight: I was trying to say to Gary, the
phrase, laugh my ass off. I made one of
my infamous typos, and it came out as
laugh my SAD off ( LMSO). The rest was
history. Gary, Deb, and I liked it & passed
it on. I even told my grief therapist ! Lou

 

My comment to you regarding "Beuller" is on the other thread, "Sudden and Unexpected". Maybe I call you Ferris? Another joke.

I like your typo, laugh my sad off, perfect. Mistakes can be positive and so funny.

 

Yes, Karen, Linda & I saw the movie
many times, and laughed at the
emotionless teacher, played by Ben
Stein. We also liked "Office Space", with
Ron Livingston & Jennifer Anniston. Did
you see that movie? We also liked
Boynton Beach Club, which I recommended to Deb, bc it had a lot of
comedy, as well as tragedy. I identified
with the main character, a widower,
played by Len Cariou. BTW, I just set the
record straight with Deb: When I was
trying to respond to Gary, I was trying to
say, "laugh my ass off". Due to yet another
infamous typo ( which YOU love so much!),
it came out as "laugh my SAD off " ( LMSO).
I decided to keep it, bc it fit, and Deb &
Gary loved it. I even told my therapist!
Duh! I'm losing it, bc I repeated myself.
May be time for a nap. My sense of humor
& ability to make fun of myself, IS
coming back, and so is yours, Karen. I
always said to Linda, that the manic side
of my manic depression, could put me in
a high, funny state ( unless I didn't get
much sleep&would be irritable.

 

Gary, just turned in to your morning posts.
I immediately got your music reference
to The Doors. My favorite was "People
are strange......". When no one was looking,
I used to sing that song loudly as I walked
down the street. I should've looked in the
mirror! Lou

 

I just found your post. We seem to be okay here, but Hwy 50 up the hill has a lot of debris and rock slides from the Caldor fires that has closed roads temporarily.

It will be one year since Jack died Nov 4th, I think I mentioned. I still can't watch much TV. Every news channel, football season, political stuff he used to watch makes me cry. I can see him sitting in his recliner all happy and contented watching football. In fact, I had to cancel Pandora music. I just can't listen to any music of any kind, it brings on tears and sadness. If I ever went to church I would cry all the way through the hymns.
If I do turn on a show I find myself spacing off. I guess that comes with grief, no concentration, spacing off. I even space off when someone talks to me, maybe I'm just not interested in what they are saying which is very possible.

I hope we all can find a "New" us if that's possible, because the "Old" me is gone and I can't find her. I hope you don't get to this point.

Okay, enough. Good time to weed. Blessings, Karen

 

Hi Lou,

I have to confess, I had to reach for a tissue when I read that it's the second time you got my message at 10:13, Linda's birthday. But, and this is one of those really BIG BUTS!!!, they were mostly happy tears. I wish so much, TU!!!, that I could have met Linda. I think we could have become the best of friends... If she is trying to reach you through me, I feel very honored, not the word I want to use, but I'm more than a bit fried today, so I hope you "get it."

I agree with you. I don't know how I would make it through this if it wasn't for my belief in God and laughter. I'm glad you were able to get a walk in before the Nor'easter hit. Bob and I used to love walking along the shore before a storm... I love the way you describe it, a "magnificent, angry ocean, under threatening gray skies...." No matter what Mother Nature has in store for us, it's reflected in what seems like the always changing "moods" of the ocean. Reading your vivid descriptions of the New England coastline, make me so homesick... I really hope I'll be strong enough to visit "home" by the summer. However, this is going to be one of those TBC's...

Backing up a bit, I'm glad that your apartment building is on high enough ground so you won't get flooded. I hope Robin and Teddy are also not in a major flood zone. I'm very lucky because the first thing Bob did when we decided to move here, was to check the flood zones. We are as high above sea level as possible for this area. When those torrential downpours hit, roads are flooded, streets, homes are flooded. I feel so badly for everyone who has to experience the consequences when Mother Nature is in a bad mood.

When Bob and I bought our first house, there was a major snowstorm and we lost our electricity for several days. When it first started getting cold in the house it was very late at night, so we bundled our sons, both babies at the time, in their snowsuits, and put them in our bed between us. However, it was so cold that we finally had to put them in the car and drive to one of his sister's houses. We spent a couple of nights at her house until the electricity was restored in our area. If it had just been Bob and I, we might have stayed at home, and kept our fireplace going. Backing up just a bit, we brought everything perishable to his sister's house. We ate really well, total understatement!!! Luckily she and her husband had three growing children, two of them, boys with big appetites. I haven't thought about this in so many years... It's making me teary eyed... I HATE!!! this seemingly endless roller coaster ride!!! I've been stuck at the bottom of it, the entire day. I need to find that "off switch" for my brain, even if it's only for a little while. I'm mentally and physically exhausted, TU!!!

That old saying, "laughter is the best medicine," is so true!!! Everything seems so much better after a really good laugh, the kind that makes me reach for a tissue, but only in the best of ways... Backing up just a bit, Marcey's remark about Uncle Fester still has me going, thank you Marcey!!! I definitely needed those sunglasses today. I didn't get much sleep last night. I kept waking up, reaching for the box of tissues I always have on my nightstand. I know it has something to do with what would have been my wedding anniversary... The cold hard reality that Bob and I will never be able to celebrate another anniversary has me in tears... I need a tissue... I keep reminding myself that for you and Robin, Karen too (??), the days leading up to special days are always worse than the actual day. (Not sure this came out right, but I know you'll "get" what I'm trying to say.

Backing up a bit, it is a beautiful sunny day in SC. I wish I could send you and Robin, and all of our other friends who are in the path of this Nor'easter, some of this sunshine...

It's taken me forever to try to finish this. I've been interrupted twice by the phone, and three times by texts. I lost my train of thought because I just got the most adorable picture of my best friend's grandson. He's seven months old. He was born exactly one day short of one month before Bob died. I've been thinking about the circle of life so much lately...

Stopping here for now. I think I might have written you another book...

Wait, one more thing, I love The Doors, TU!!! I was sitting by the water in New Hampshire on the day Jim Morrison died. My friends and I were so sad...

Really going now. Hope your evening is off to a good start...

As always,wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

P.S. Sending you hugs too...

 

Karen,

Thank you for letting us know, as Gary would say, you'll be "off the grid" for awhile so we won't worry about you. I'm glad your sister and husband are visiting you and are going to be helping you. I know how difficult it is having to go through Bob's things, and I know it's going to be very difficult for you to get into the computer and see things from Jack. Sending you extra hugs...

Got to go. I need to take out the trash, tomorrow's trash day, and there are a few other things I need to do.

Sending more hugs your way, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Oh Karen... (((((((HUGS))))))) I'm so sorry for your pain. And I totally relate to needing to find a "New" you - because old me is also gone. She died with him. Absolutely. But I think slowly learning who we are now and what will eventually, in time, bring us some new enjoyment and maybe even joy, will get easier over time. At least I hope so.

That's so hard when none of the typical distractions/time-fillers bring you any kind of relief or enjoyment.
I too am having a hard time with music. I've stood sobbing and have left stores, because of the music playing. It was destroying me in the middle of Hobby Lobby (while I was buying picture frames for his memorial service). Hobby Lobby in particular, because it usually has instrumental versions of hymns playing. Which is VERY personal to both my husband and I. We met in church. I was the pastor's daughter and my husband was (eventually) the lead music director/song leader in our church for many years. And we did the old hymns and the new praise music. I can't hear any of it now without dissolving in tears.
However, incredibly, I have been able to force myself to go to Sunday services and actually sing along. I don't know how that's possible when I can't listen to it. I do have tears streaming down my face, but it still brings me some peace to sing along. But that has been my whole life. But again, for 39 years with him, we worshiped and served together and he was up front (adult Sunday School teacher and song leader).
*I do know how I am able to go and sing along actually - God's help and because our youngest son was the assistant to my husband. So our son is now the music director and main song leader/praise team leader. I'm sure that's why I find the strength to go. Our son is up there in his place and I want to support him. That is a major motivation to go and participate, even though it's hard. Because our son is hurting too and it's really hard for him to be there, taking over for his dad.

But, I have been able to still enjoy tv shows. Thankfully. There are some things I won't try yet. The last few years he was really into the Hallmark Christmas movies (which was very out of character for him, in the past - but with age came a softer heart, for sure). I would give him a hard time about it, but I secretly loved it. But on the flip side, he was a sports guy and watched them all. Especially Baseball, Football and Basketball. I won't have sports on here for a long time. I already know not to even go there. And I already decided I can't watch any love stories. Nope.
But we would watch the Food Network and the cooking and baking competition shows together a lot and continuing to watch those hasn't made my pain any worse, at least. We watched all of the seasons of The Crown, Stranger Things and Downton Abbey together. .....why am I listing tv shows.... le sigh.
I'm thinking of him as I watch anything. But I'm thinking of him and missing him constantly anyway.
And now my mind is drifting. I'm so tired.

Anyway, I'm glad you're able to do some yard work today. I hope the freshly washed air and sunshine helped a little. Or a lot. ♥ And I hope you can do something that will lift your spirits this evening.

Maybe one of these days we can meet for coffee and commiseration at a Starbucks in Auburn or somewhere near. You can't be far from there and I won't be far from there, a few days a month.

 

Perfect timing AGAIN, Deb! I think you're
my guardian angel. I KNEW you would
reach for a tissue, when I told you that I
thought you were some kind of "medium".
One very lonely day, I was walking throigh Dock Sq, where Rockport puts up a large
Christmas tree, and the Shack & nearby
buildings are all decorated & filled with
warm, inviting lights. I recall you saying
you went to downtown Boston to the
old Jordan Marsh. I had a flashback to
being a boy, looking at the window
displays & Lionel trains, which I loved.
The trees , all lit up, around the Boston
Common, fascinated me. Many years
later, I went into the CHEERS bar, across
from the Common. It looked different
than the TV show, which was filmed in
L.A., except for opening shots, but it had a
cozy feel. A woman who did the weather
on a local channel, sat next to me with her
husband, and I said hi, & that I admired
her work. She smiled. I heard that she
left her job to become a minister. As you
would say, "backing up a bit.....",when I
was walking through downtown Rockport,
I'mI saw a sign for " PSYCHIC READINGS". It's
a small place,and I could see a young woman inside. I was tempted to go in, and
ask the woman to help me "talk" to Linda.
If I had been drinking, I might have, but
cooler heads prevailed, and I kept
walking. I'm glad I did. In the summer
her door was open & the mystery was
gone. I would see her walking on the
Neck, with a rather sullen look, not
talking with anyone, except her mother,
who owned another psychic shop on the
Neck. I never saw anyone go into either
shop, certainly not the locals! Bob was a
very smart man to place his family on
higher ground. I loved your story about
when the power went out. When Linda
got married in 1996, we rented a small
house in Rockport. That was a happy
memory. I took photos of people riding
horses up to a horse farm up the street,
and Linda & I walked by the ocean.
Come to think of it, we did walk on the
Neck. but I blocked that memory, bc it's
too sad. The good thing is that the Shack
bar hadn't been built yet, so Linda never
went there with me. She didn't know ANY
of the people with whom I see every
Friday night. Rockport was a dry town for
a hundred years. People had to drive to
Gloucester for liquor stores & bar/ restaurants. Slowly, we were allowed to
BYOB to nice restaurants which no
longer exist. I'm a strange way, they went
with Linda. I try to remember the good
times, & not that we were sucked into
helping her ungrateful parents. One
April 1st, April Fools Day, we had a big
snowstorm in Rockport, & we took photos
of each other, smiling broadly, next to
huge snowbanks , with our shovels.
After Linda died, I couldn't look at those
pictures without weeping, so I threw
them away. I don't regret that. Ironically,
I would pass that little house when I
trudged up to my grief counselor's
home / office around the corner. I told
her about the time Linda & I lost power
during that storm, & cuddled under. Well
blankets. We would joke years later that
what we missed the most , was not being
able to make coffee, even instant coffee.
Since no restaurant was open, we just
had to "suck it up". Well, time for supper,Deb. You & I are still the champs
at writing "books". I thought Rick & PJ
( remember them?) would "compete"
with us, but they said their piece, & left.
Hope they've found comfort somewhere
else. Have a good evening. "Talk " later. L