My daughter passed away last year, March 4th, it was her birthday. She was 35. She texted two of her friends in the night and said she felt like she was dying. I was sleeping in the next room, she never came in to tell me something felt wrong. We got up in the morning and we wished her happy birthday, she looked pale and tired, maybe just a bad nights sleep? She helped get her 3 year old daughter ready for church and we left. Her boyfriend called me freaking out 2 hours later saying she was gone. I hate that word so much! What does gone really mean? She was right there! Just dead! . The police came, the paramedics. This part is a blur and it is heart crushing to write it. Fast forward to this year 14.5 months later. I have moved, to be closer to my granddaughter, her father moved to be closer to his family , I have changed states, housing, jobs. I had been busy, now I can’t breathe, I can’t sleep I can’t function. I cry for seemingly no reason She was my only child. Half my heart. How do we move forward. I am broken. Especially my siblings think I should be moving on. I am choosing to remain broken. So now I am broken sad and angry!
I'm so sorry. My son passed on March 8, 2018,ten days after his 39 birthday. What a shock for you to lose her so unexpectedly. Honestly, I don't believe we ever get over it and especially if she is your only child. We just get through each day, that's it. I'm glad you've moved closer to your granddaughter. I, too, just moved near my daughter and two grandchildren, they save me. You cry for a reason and you will always be sad for your daughter, it's okay to be sad, ignore those who don't know how it feels, you feel the way you feel. There's no magical number of months or years when all of the sudden it's okay, that's the way I feel anyway.
I think you have to live it to have any understanding at all. She was my only child, my good one, my bad one. I often wonder if I am really even a mother now? I am sorry to hear about your son, though take comfort knowing you are closer to your daughter. Grandchildren are such a blessing. It’s good to be close to yours.
My thought would be that yes, you're still a mother, you'll always be a mother. And your three year old granddaughter will know her mother through you. Your beautiful daughter will show herself to your granddaughter through your eyes and heart. You will always have a piece of your daughter to hug and love. My Anthony left behind a three year old son (now turning 5!) my son's friends keep close contact with him so that he will know his dad, they are there for him to show him dad love and to keep his memory alive. Every weekend one or another of them takes him out to the park or hangs out with him. My heart breaks for you and all of us sad mamas.
I am so sorry for both of you. My 20 year old son, my only child was killed in a horrific car accident 6 weeks ago tomorrow. I am completely lost and shattered. Treasure your grandchildren. When my husband starting talking about the future with grandchildren around Christmas time this past year, I laughed and said I'm too young to think about being a grandmother. Now, I wish that I had one so that I could still hold a piece of my son in my arms. I believe once a mother always a mother and thru your grandchildren you get to mother another. I hope that we can all find peace and understanding because I do not think that we will ever get over these terrible voids in our hearts.
Yes my son was 35 when he had his first and only child. It's really difficult when it's your son's child rather than your daughter's, in my case anyway. It feels like the grandchild goes with the mother's family, and with my daughter-in-law I always feel uneasy about being able to keep contact with my grandson. My daughter-in-law deserted my son after his accident...she couldn't handle the stress and refused to see him..he texted her and called her the night before he died and she refused to talk to him. Now she feels so guilty. I feel like I have to kiss up to her so she doesn't cut me off but to give her credit, she's been very good about keeping that contact going. They also live in San Francisco, I live in New Mexico now. But I'm grateful I still have that little part of my son, even with limited contact. I don't think he looks much like his dad right now but he has his happy smile and charming nature! I'm so sorry for your loss...it's just terrible....the heartbreak never goes away until we see them again.
I'm very sorry to hear that, I do understand what you are saying. Unfortunately, I have seen the same thing happen to people I know. It saddens me that people can be so cruel and selfish. I pray that you will be given the opportunity to develop a relationship with your grandson that you deserve and that you can take some solace that a piece of your son lives on.
