Memories equal pain...

Well I'll I'll just let you know that I'm doing better. I was able to get some exercise in in the last couple days. Ended up finding a job that I like a lot oh, got a call from one of my counselors and he told me he was proud of me I'm just glad that I talk to him I'm recovering drug addict...

I was on the the brink of doing something I would of regreted....glad I didn't.

Well I been crying less, but that I'm getting lost in work till I begin to coast and talk to Aimee aloud, telling her how much I miss her and how much I love her,I got some really good memories of us today which I laughed out loud and enjoyed.
I miss you AIMEE,

Love Jonathan

 

Jonathan,

I am happy to hear you are doing better and have been able to take some time to reflect on what has happened in your life. Good, and congratulations on finding work, it will help some during these difficult times we all face.

Just don't try to overwhelm yourself with life. Take it slow. Understand life is complicated and there is no way any of us will know what tomorrow may bring. But that does not mean we should be afraid to go forward in our lives. We have to just realize there are no pat answers for any of us.

This Covid-19 is such an unknown. It guarantees us nothing. There are no true experts, only those working to gather knowledge on how to overcome this scary virus. We all hope for the best. We hope it will be over soon. Because of it some days make it impossible to listen to the news and make us dread waking some days. Here in my state we are locked down till May 31st, so until we get better news, there is no news.

Giving up on life is never the answer. The only thing it accomplishes is stopping time for a person, nothing more. Then it hurts and forever changes all those people that are left behind to carry on.

You are trying to find what your new life will be after the death of Aimee. It is such an unknown. There are no perfect answers.

Your feelings will continue to be all over the place. Some days will be better than others. Some days you might not want to step out the door or even get dressed.
The worst thing you or anyone else could do is give up on yourself, it accomplishes nothing.

Just remember Jonathan, you don't have to say goodbye to Aimee. She will be with your in all your days forward, in your thoughts, in those things you do. It is natural to talk to those we loved in life, I do the same for my late wife Nadine. But I do it when I am alone, and don't wish to share my thoughts with everyone else.

Memories are the moments in our lives that push each of us on from day to day. It is something that no one can ever take from us, as they are ours and our alone.

Take care of yourself. Watch out for despair. Peace brother.

-david

This is a song I found for you.

 

Thank you for your kind words Again David. You always brighten my day by replying to my venting and talking out loud.

Yeah I'm trying to find a careful balance of things in life again I don't know if I told you but previous to all this I was hit by a drunk driver and Left 4 Dead on the side of the road. And crashed my motorcycle at 90 miles an hour. So leaving me unable to work for the last 15 years. So having a job now is a great change that I needed I had too much free time before.

Again thank you to all in this site that has helped me through the death of my fiance Amiee.

Miss you my Angel...


-Jonathan