lost days after my dad died

My dad was very ill for a very long time I have spent half my childhood life in hospitals and everytime we came back home from hospitals all we wish an hope is that we should never ever go back to that hell hole. But everyone in my family knew deep down that my father is going to return to the hospital sooner or later but the last time he came out of the hospital I knew for a fact that he isn't alright and he is going to the hospital soon but NOT ONCE did it occur to me that he would die. All of a sudden leaving my family all alone. I dont want to grieve in front of my sister and mother cause I know that it will trigger them and they will all have a breakdown but I am in the brink of breakdown everytime i hear the words dad or appa. I feel jealous of friends who still has the opportunity to talk and converse to their fathers. I feel like a monster for feeling that way.

 

You’re not a monster. This is all very normal in grief. You are not alone in feeling this way. Grief is so complex and complicated. One minute you might feel sadness, then shock or numb, tired, or anger or guilty. Or maybe you can’t even give it a name. Nothing feels normal because it’s not. Life has changed. Completely changed. And it’s supposed to feel that way in the beginning. Be kind to yourself. It’s normal to fell lost. You’ve lost someone very important. But you are not alone in this. Continue to read others stories and post your thoughts. It has been helpful to me. I hope it helps you too.

 

I’m sorry for your loss, I lost my dad 10 days ago . He had a list of complications and was in and out of the hospital. When he was admitted to the hospital a few days ago I thought it would be like normal where he would come home, this time he didn’t. He was in the hospital for less than 48hrs. I’m new to all of these emotions as well. Sometimes it feels unbearable. It helps to talk, It’s healthy to grieve. Sending you love.

 

I'm feeling the same way due to the sudden loss of my sister. There's times were it feels like I'm doing better and then seems I'm just numb, sad, and angry. There really is no 'right way' to grieve. Thank you for sharing your story of loss.