Just lost the love of my life

Great, George, about the book. You &
brother Gary are readers of new books.
I've gotten lazy, & reread Jonathan's
book, read GIC, & articles on my Smart
phone. I may start going to the local
library, even if it's to borrow magazines. L

 

I should do that Library thing too... Been very preOccupied and Introspective these daze.

 

I was on that cloud for a week George. It just made me think of the Rolling Stones song called “hey you get off of my cloud”. Thanks for the poem Bro. Gary

 

I think I’m caught up on reading everyone’s posts. I just love hearing everyone’s kind words and encouragements to each other. My grief sent me into a spell of feeling misunderstood and Uniquely alone. Isolation seemed like the only cure. The more I isolated the more I wondered if I could ever make it back. Mr. Grief is so unpredictable. I Immersed myself in nature. I took a lot of hikes along with bike rides and made it to the river kayaking for the first time this year. On a bike ride yesterday the voice in the gut said you know this negativity is only temporary you’re going bounce back. On that particular trip I saw a horse walking down the road towards me. I could see it had escaped its owner and the owner was in pursuit. I used my bike as a barricade and the owner was able to catch up with the animal. I asked if I could go onto their property and hunt for deer antlers. A nice woman said the boys do that here. she went on to say you’re welcome to come over and show your antlers to us and we’ll show ours. I laughed and I said I doubt if I’ll do that but thanks. After thinking it over several hours I decided to take her up on the offer. I went over and met the whole family. It was a camaraderie I haven’t experienced for a long time. Gary

 

Gary, when you experienced the joy of
being among people, you can understand
how I became a " people person", as my
grief counselor told me. It was gradual.
I had to move to my current apartment,
in a different town, only 4 months after
Linda died. I was broken & depressed. I
walked into the Shack the first time and
asked for a hot dog without the roll, bc
I have Celiac Disease, & bread has to be
gluten free. The head bartender, about my
age, said,,"Don't worry about it. I've had
Celiac for 30 years!". He became a good
friend. I started meeting locals and
tourists from all over the country, and
even other countries. If a tourist couple
asked how I happened to come to this
seaside art community, I would sometimes
say that I moved here after my wife died.
I found these couples to be empathetic,
especially the wives. It felt good to say it.
In most cases, I wouldn't see these tourists
again. The Shack came into being, when
Linda went into the rehab unit, so she
never set foot there. In a way, as much as
I wish Linda were here to enjoy the bar
with me, it is good that I can start anew.
Lou

 

Maggie has a vet appointment on Tuesday.
That means new people, new place, new activity.
These are times I miss Kenn.
I can change the air filter in my furnace but these extrovert skill events overwhelm me.
Where is my love when I need him…
~B

 

Bernadine, your words about missing Kenn, in the way he was able to deal with
people, is very moving. I've said this to
Gary & others, that when Linda & I met,
she was more of an extrovert than I was.
But, as her world got smaller, bc her
gradual illness made her depressed and

understandably bitter, Linda said she
went from being a golden retriever to a
pitbull, & lost her patience with people,
except me. I had to step forward & talk
with doctors, health insurance people,
etc., on the phone. Linda always did that.
Now, years later, I find myself thinking of
her funny phrases, before she got sick, & I
make people laugh when I quote her. It's
my way of paying homage. Lou

 

George, I gave myself permission , as
Zuba said, to stare out the window of a
cafe. I didn't feel like reading things on
my phone--- until now, when I'm on GIC.
How is The George doing today? Lou

 

B, I just read the chapter “you are stronger than you think” in Tom Zubas Brook “permission to mourn”. You are stronger than you think. You have already walked through fire and you can walk through it again. And again if necessary. You are stronger than you think, feel, and believe. Gary

 

Quite lackluster after two daze of cold rain and wind. Bluck!

 

Sorry, The George. I was lucky. We had a
great fog over the ocean, much better than
rain. People keep saying here ,"better than
snow!". Hope we have sunny days ahead
soon, which puts us in better moods, bc
we can walk outside in nature. Lou

 

I would like to do that walk outside in nature thing

 

I remember when you moved, that you
were happy to be able to walk the
perimeter of your place, and to the store.
Then, the endless winter cold & snow
hit, making it impossible. Better,warmer,
sunnier days soon , George! Lou

 

I sure want to

 

Keep trying to try my Brotha

 

Please accept my sympathy on the loss of your husband. I lost my husband on February 11. It still isn't real.

 

Sherry, you were right to join GIC. Gerry's
sudden death, without warning, without
a chance to say goodbye, is so recent, and
unbearable for you. When my wife, Linda,
collapsed in front of me. without warning,
after being treated for breast cancer, in
a rehab wing of a nursing home, I had
PTSD, bc I couldn't get that last image of
her out of my mind. I had to see a grief
counselor. In the behinning, all I did was
weep in her office, until I was ready to talk
with her. Have you thought of seeing a
grief counselor? Linda died almost 3 and a
half years ago. I miss her every day. How could I not, after 25 years of marriage? It
STILL feels "unreal", as you said, but I
don't weep like I did right after she died.
I told a friend that my grief is like a
weather forecast of " intermittent" clouds
or sun. My mourning for Linda, on any
given day, is intermittent joy & a cloud of
sadness.One never gets"over grief", but,
somehow, manages to get through grief,
one day at a time. I joined GIC in July,
2021. I don't see a grief counselor anymore,
but I seek comfort from other Grief
Warriors ( GW) here, every morning and
every night. I see that you're up at 5am.
Did you sleep at all last night, Sherry? I
usually wake up at 6:30am, but I went to
bed earlier last night. Please keep
checking in with us every day. God
Bless you. My words to you. go out to
Ann Adams, and to anyone else who
feels our pain. Lou

 

Thank you so much. My name is Debra, and I'm so sorry that you lost your husband as well. And I know exactly how you feel! It is extremely devastating and beyond deeply painful and it does feel like it still is not real! And I'm so glad that you found GIC, because there are very kind and caring, empathetic people here, who are so supportive of each other.
And please feel free to reach out to me, anytime... take care always, Debra

 

Hi Lou-
Your compassion for others is a thing of beauty. It seems like Gerry did and didn't die suddenly. He was in hospice for nine months, and they told us that he would probably die in February. It's just that he seemed to be doing better... Guess am not ready to talk about the details.
This is a comforting place to be. Glad you saw the robin today. It is kind of the Lord to give us these simple things that bring meaning into life. Hope your day is really super. Thank you for your kindness. - Sherry

 

Sherry, thank you so much for saying my
"compassion for others is a thing of
beauty". I never heard it put that way
before. The fact is that I'm giving back to
the people who welcomed & comforted
me here. I'm also reaching out to new
members, to welcome them. You don't
have to reveal the details of Gerry's
death right now, or ever. Over the course
of time, I did say that Linda's cause of
death was from a pulmonary embolism.
It's a fact, but not one I want to dwell on.
I'm trying to think of the happier times
we had, and the trips we took. Lou