Just lost the love of my life

Robin, I unloaded my sudden encounter
with Mr. Grief this am, which was a
sucker punch that took my breath away &
made me sob. I replied to George's post,
bc he would understand. He hasn't
responded yet. I just wrote to Rita. Like
you, I didn't join GIC when Linda died over
3 years ago. I wasn't ready until July of this
year. Lou

 

I recall Lou. Or I think I do. I think you had trouble figuring out the site and I tried to talk you through the ins and outs. But if I recall you needed Karyn to help you. I had to ask her too when I first joined. I hope you’re feeling better, stronger. I’m glad you let it out though. All part of the healing. Robin

 

Robin, you're right, I reached out to you,
and to Karyn Arnold, bc I was depressed &
frustrated. Linda had taught me the
Internet when we used library
computers. I didn't buy my smart phone
until after she died. In fact, that was one of
the many things I felt guilty about----- that
she didn't live to see the ease of getting
on line at home, instead of having to go
to libraries. A year ago October, when we
had the reboot, I couldn't get on GIC,
even after the tech team supposedly
fixed it. I recall asking Karyn if it was a
Halloween prank. I feel much more
confident on GIC now. My day improved
after my "meltdown" ,one of Linda's
memorable words. Lou

 

I'm sorry Mr..Grief visited you today. With This merry go round that we're on we never no when its going to stop on us. Don't feel bad for expressing how you feel. This is the place to express yourself among people that understand what you're feeling. You're doing good being here and expressing your feelings for.it to only be a month since your loss. Take deep breaths and definitely get as much fresh air as possible. Hope your day got better. Praying for you to get stronger with each passing day.

 

Thank you so much Robin, people here have been absolutely wonderful. I cannot believe I was so fortunate to find this site so soon. It truly has been a help as you also said. I wish you everything wonderful and send lots of hugs your way as well, Rita

 

It got better later today. I thank you so much for your concern and caring, people here are so wonderful with their constant support. I know we all have our grief to bear and struggle everyday with the loss of our loved ones. but I am very grateful that we don't have to do it alone. Family is wonderful, but sometimes it is also difficult to unburden ones grief on them. Coming here to those who have experienced losing the love of many years, is comforting and reassures us all that we will be ok. Maybe not today, or tomorrow. but a little at a time everyday. Sending hugs, comfort your way, Rita

 

I am so happy that your day got better Lou. Mine did as well. It really hits hard without a warning sometimes and almost takes your breath away (sucker punched as you said). I read all of the messages here and there is so much pain, but the support and reaching out of all the great people is so inspiring and makes it better in many ways. I could not do it alone, that's for sure...Thank you for always reaching out to so many including me. Linda knows how much you care, I believe that. Sending hugs and wishing you a goodnight, Rita

 

Thank you, Rita, for that touching
comment about Linda. I was about to
have more tears in my eyes, but I had
enough of that this morning. I set aside
my evenings for a quiet dinner, relaxation,
& early bedtime. I like to get up around
6:30am, now that the days are sunnier &
warmer. Hope your weather in Va. is
good for being outside, too. Lou

 

Lou, I'm so sorry that you had such a miserable start to your day!! And I do know horrible it feels to weep uncontrollably, it is so emotional draining!! And it hurts so much!!
And is so good that your day got better, and you walked in the sunshine and met a friend for lunch. And hopefully you will have more peace in every day.
And you are in my thoughts.
Take care always,
Debra

 

Thank you, Debra. I reached out to the
kind friends on GIC, and got a lot of
sympathy & encouragement from other
GW, who experience the same thing. God
willing, I hope to go to bed early & wake up
early tomorrow, so I can enjoy a walk to
one of my 2 breakfast places. In another
month, there will be outside tables, and a
livelier atmosphere when tourists come
( if they can afford the gas!). Have a
good evening & pleasant dreams. Lou

 

Rita,
Please never worry about voicing your sadness. Not here.
Starting last week sometime I found myself in tears at every turn.
Couldn’t get my head around the emptiness in my heart. The Kenn shaped space that nothing will ever fill. It wasn’t anything in particular, it was Everything in particular. Many many tears. Many conversations with the universe. Many moments of just feeling done with it. Not hopeless, but awfully tired of it all. It was a stretch on a rough sea.
Today is better, today I can breathe without having to remind myself to exhale. ~Bernadine

 

You're so welcome, Lou. And thank you for your warm reply. And I'm so glad that there are other kind friends here that you can reach out to here. And it is true that we do experience the same thing. And hopefully you will have a peaceful night's sleep and so it will be easier for you to get up earlier and you will enjoy your walk to one of your breakfast places. And that would be awesome! And I know what you mean about the tourists being able to afford the gas prices... it seems like they have gotten out of hand, as it is nearly 6.00 a gallon in certain areas of California! And thank you for your good evening and pleasant dreams wishes. And I hope that you had a good evening and you will have pleasant dreams also.
Debra

 

Bernadine, I am truly sorry for your loss of Kenn, you are describing my exact feelings today. Sometimes I am so very tired, it just takes so much out of you. There are times I wish I could just stop feeling anything. Today did get better for me and I am glad it was better for you. Sending hugs and comfort to you and wishing you a good night and better days to come, Rita

 

Thank you Rita, There are better days ahead. Keep working towards them. Robin

 

Hey The Lou... gotta new grief book. Its Ok That You're Not OK... been busy actually doing errands and that is good. I hate those days when its overwhelming sadness... too many lately... I can do stuff because it warmed up! I hope for a long stretch! Suck winter!

 

Hi, George. I'm glad you've been busy.
Tell us about that book! Sounds good. I
wrote to you about a sad flashback to the
Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, I got a lot of
sympathy from TGW. I'm grateful for the
sun & that it's finally getting warmer for
both of us. About to go to sleep. 9:30pm,
my time, so I can get up early and enjoy
the day. Lou

 

Oh, George
That’s Megan Devine’s book I think.
She’s the one who wrote that little piece I posted about the ‘stages’ (ha) of grief.
Do let us know your thoughts on it.
Hooray for a little warmth, I’m happy to hear it makes it easier for you to “do stuff”
~Bernadine

 

There is a lot of good stuff in there... Like the war between pain and suffering... How they are different and how to deal with them. I hope to write more on this. So overwhelmed reading it. Makes you think. It is good. Lotta stuff to do because it was neglected. Too.

 

Been a very introspective time of reading and thinking and doing krazy black pen ink drawings of wyrd shit. I hope to start a post about this book and thoughts on it. Hope soon. But not forcing it! Take Care Lou!