Its OK to not Be OK

George,

YES!!!, TUTTAM!!! shaving IS!!! progress... I'm over the top impressed by how hard you're fighting Mr. Grief. I smiled BIG!!! TIME!!! when I read you started seeing a new counselor. You are SO!!! worth it!!!, no matter how $$!! it is!!!, TUTTAM!!! I know Valerie would be so over the top proud of you, so happy that you are taking the very best care of yourself you possibly can. You are TUGW!!!, TUTTAM!!! (TUTTAM is way past stale, but I can't seem to stop using it, lol...)

Thank you so much for sharing this very positive update. You made my night.

Hope tomorrow is a much better day..., that you have at least one reason to LMSO.

With lots of hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Bernadine,

Hate to break it to you, but and this is another one of those really BIG!!! BUTS!!!, sadly..., you read it correctly. I had a hard time believing it too, the first time around. I bet the woman who came up with this ridiculous diagnosis, has NEVER!!! suffered the total heartbreak that all of us have. Better get off my soapbox before I even begin to get going!!!, TUTTAM!!!

As always, lots of hugs and love to you and Maggie, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

P.S. It doesn't matter how dirty Maggie is, I have to hug her anyway, lol... No pressure, but if you're up to it, what about a monthly picture of her, until she reaches her first birthday? I LOVE!!! watching puppies grow up!!!, TUTTAM!!!

P.S.S. My creative energy is still flowing, and I'm continuing to make this house feel more like a home (for now.) I'm thinking, once this house is finished, decorated with only dog friendly stuff, including washable area rugs, when the fall rolls around, I might begin looking for another fur baby. I guess this will have to be another one of those TBC's...

 

Helena,

I'm not fully caught up around here and I'm about to put away my chrome book for the evening, but it seems like I haven't "talked" to you in ages... Just want you to know, I'm thinking about you... You, all of TGW, and my GIC friends, are always included in my daily prayers...

I hope you have at least one reason, but hopefully more than one, to LMSO tomorrow...

Sending you hugs and love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Its definitely ok to not be ok. Grief will definitely drain every bit of your energy. It may be hard and you don't realize how strong you actually are because you said you can barely get out of bed so that means you're not allowing it to pull you completely down. So continue to fight. If you don't want to move then don't but if you do then at least walk to the door for fresh air. Take deep breaths we're all in this together. Praying that we all get stronger with each passing day.

 

Deb,
OMG! That article you mentioned put me in a tail spin. So many emotions came over me. I want to smack who wrote it upside the head! Obviously who wrote it hasn’t lost his soul mate. Thank you for sharing Dr Alan Wolfelt’s perspective on this new controversial diagnosis. That made me feel so much better.
I have stated many times to people on this site and people in my daily life that one year of grieving is like a drop in the bucket compared to the 44 years our love grew each and every day. It took 44 years to have the love we had and frankly still have, it doesn’t go away over night. Each of us with our own time frame, whether one year or 60, love is such a strong emotion.
I know I’m getting stronger as I go through this and I know each and every one of us will in our own time and way. It’s a nightmare I wouldn’t wish on anyway but sadly we all go through it. Hopefully with help and support and not judgement.
Thank you Deb as always for your love and hugs. We’ve had some brutally cold weather take away our spring temps. Back to staying inside. In fact the birds chirping even stopped waking me which I’m missing. Nature is such a wonderful healer.

It’ ok to not be ok. Work towards those better days ahead. They’re there, keep working towards them.
Robin

 

Karen,
So many of us are still there. And I know that having others know exactly what we individually are feeling is like a hug. We’re not alone, because we sure feel it.
What a wonderful family of strangers that have become best friends, we all are!
Love it! And sending love to each of our family members. Robin

 

In the forward from Permission to Mourn it says; We must choose moment to moment between love and fear. the choice to believe that you are alone invisible and powerless in this case that someone you love dearly has been tragically taken is the choice of fear. the choice to believe that the soul of the one you dearly love has returned home to the non-physical reality in a manner place and time of its choosing and yet remains with you is the choice of love. the new way to grieve requires choosing love. This is my mantra. I reread this a lot. I am enjoying Cheryl’s non physical presence regularly. George do you experience Valerie’s no physical presence? Are most of those experiences positive and loving? If they are not that is a good place to start talking about with your healer. I have a figurine that resembles Cheryl. I hold her and talk to Cheryl and kiss her. We watch music videos together. The book Invisible Ink made Cheryl’s presence feel nearer. Deb keeps reminding us that love is eternal. Robin knows Ron is very near also. Patti knows she will be reunited with Jack some day. We have to tap into the supernatural and cultivate this relationship. Keep on trucking Bro. Gary

 

Good morning, Deb,
So pleased to hear your creative energy is flowing.
As requested, pictures of Maggie Joy….

 

Bernadine,

Thank you so much for sharing!!!, TUTTAM!!! I am totally, madly in love with her, lol!!! She just keeps getting way more adorable the older she gets... Thanks for the smiles... I can NEVER!!! get enough of them!!!, TUTTAM!!!

I'm not even going to bother asking anymore what Maggie's gotten into... A dirty Maggie wouldn't stop me from hugging her, lol...

As always, sending you and Maggie lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Thanks Deb! You are one of the nicest person that always pays attenton to TGW!! I'm so glad that now I'm part of this beautifull family GIC that are so supportive of one another in our long painfull grieving journey...
I Also would like to send your way my love and best thouhgts in our heeling!
Helena

 

Helena,

I'm glad you're part of our "family" too...

Hope your day is as good as it possibly can be...

Getting ready to take a long, much needed walk. I had to wait until it warmed up first. It's finally hit the mid sixties, lots of sunshine, perfect time for me to hit the pavement. So..., stopping here.

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Maggy looks so precious, what a nice companion to have!
Helena

 

Thank you, Helena
She is a wonderful companion, especially the need to get out of bed every day and go outside rain or shine.
The muddy mug picture was taken a few weeks ago, the day Deb sent a hug to Maggie and I gave her warning about that face.
The other is last week, an unusually calm moment in the sun while I was pulling weeds.
She turned 6 months old on Sunday, her growth should slow down a bit, at least that’s what I’ve been told & I’m keeping my fingers crossed. ~Bernadine

 

Helena, you give us so many grief quotes,
that I want to quote a slow, sad song, by
Sinatra. After Linda died, I couldn't listen
to it, without weeping. Now, I can, and it
brings me some comfort:
"So I'm down, & so I'm out, but so are
many others. So I feel like tryin' to hide my
head 'neath these covers.
Life is like the seasons, after winter comes
the spring. So I'll keep this smile awhile &
see what tomorrow brings.
I've been told and I believe that LIFE IS
MEANT FOR LIVIN'. And even when the
chips are low, there's still some left for
givin'.
I've been many places, maybe not as far as
you. So I think I'll stay awhile to see if my
dreams come true.
There isn't much that I have learned through all my foolish years, except that
life keeps runnin' in CYCLES. First there's
laughter, then those tears.
But I'll keep my head up high although I'm
kinda tired. My gal just up & left last week
& Friday I got fired.
You know, it's almost funny, but things
can't get worse than now. So I'll keep on
tryin' to sing. But, please don't ask me
now......." Lou

 

Lou, many songs have strong effects in our lives and Sinatra's lyrics seems so appropriate when we are remembering our partners...Linda will always be in your heart...grieving in an extension of our love for our partners that they left us alone. ITS OK NOT TO BE OK.

 

Thank you the DEb! I realized why it's been especially hard sick with Vepid Digestive Issues the last few daze. Real physical; illness does suck. I think I might be doing better. I am glad my post made your night! Loves and stufss!

 

Good to see you on here today, George. I
was worried about you bc Mr.Grief had you in a tight grip. I 'm sorry you had a
stomach issue. Something was going
around like that here.I've been depressed
lately, bc it's STILL cold. As I said to other
GW, I hope April will bring some warmer
temps, even if we have to deal with some
rain. Lou

 

Thank you, Helena. Linda & I had the
Cycles CD, with a sad looking Sinatra,
with his face in his hands, sitting on a
stoop. The picture, the song, and lyrics
captured my mood. Other times, I listen
to the more upbeat That's Life, to get me
out the door in the morning. Lou

 

Thank you so much for that book title,
George. Everyone of TGW can relate. I
feel like Rip Van Winkle, bc it's Wed, and
I'm trying to catch up on GIC , from Sun
through Tues. Better late than never. Lou

 

It appears the inclusion of this “diagnosis “ is tied to a pharmaceutical now being available to “treat” it. It makes more sense now. It’s about money, not grief.