My husband died tragically due to a insulin overdose Jan,31 2025. It was his first shot at home since getting out of the hospital. The discharge papers said to take 30 units. He was fine on min and the next I'm calling ambulance. I watch him die as they were rushing him out of our home. He looked right through me at that moment. He was so scared and having all the symptoms but hospital sent us home so uneducated. It wasn't till that weekend I started to read everything online about this insulin pen. I had to find out from a diabetic all I had to do is give him sugar. I'm a mother hen and take care of my family no matter what. The pain and guilt I felt at that moment made me sick. We were so new to this we didn't know. Even my husband didn't know what was wrong. It happened so fast. I have been looking everywhere online to find out how i can talk to him one last time. Does he see me, does he know how I miss him, all the questions. I want to go back in time but it's getting farther away. I cry all the time. I am so sad I feel like it's never going to go away. I want him back so bad. Been begging God to please bring him back. I can't dream since this. I'm so lost.
HUGS unfortunately we cannot bring them back physically but they will always be with us in our hearts. and many of us have had little "visits" from our loved one. It may be just a feeling or even a smell or a sound but it is a connection and it helps. Right now you are very new and your feelings are raw. It will not totally leave but it will get softer. and you will be able to find your way around, HUGS and wishing you strength to go along this journey.
Mikellvk: You will not be able to speak to him again once he has left his physical body. However, I can tell you with confidence that his spirit was able to remain near you for 7 days before being moved by God. The blessing of knowing this is that he knows that what happened is not your fault, further he does not blame you. He saw your grief at losing him, everything you said out loud if you were trying to speak to him, telling him you loved him; he heard. After the 7 days he was gathered into a habitation to rest until the end of time here. There he will no longer see what is happening here on earth. The Apocrypha states this in 2 Esdras 7 :100-101 You can order a Bible that has the Old Testament, the Apocrypha and the New Testament all in one book. Mine is the NRSV with Apocrypha. It is important that you understand you must not carry guilt over this tragic accident and that is what it was, an accident with medication. I am praying for you, I know this pain. I had to sedate my husband at the end of his Pancreatic cancer journey that had spread to his liver, lungs and brain and give him liquid morphine; which essentially put him in a coma until his body died of lack of water and food. The alternative was unthinkable and Hospice was at the helm of these instructions. There were many a day I vacillated on those instructions. However, mercy won out. I would rather he slept until he passed than to suffer agony because I was too weak to follow medical instructions. That was my situation. Yours was a terrible accident caused by a lack of proper instructions. You miss him, you love him and want him back. I felt all of those things too, overwhelmingly . Your loss is still so fresh, this loss is going to take a lot of time to process. I am praying for you. Kasey
I'm so sad for you. I lost my husband on December 15th last year and I'm feeling exactly like you. He told me to look for signs but there haven't been any. I'm so lost without him.
Dear Mikellyk, I don't know if this will offer you any relief, but I a want to send you love and prayers to heal. I lost the love of my life and soul mate on February 19, 2025. I rushed him to the hospital in a coma on February 17, the date you lost your love. I too am lost. Most of us on this blog feel or have felt your pain; this is why we joined the blog. We are all floundering, not understanding what and why this has happened to us. I do not profess to have any provable answers to how our Creator works. I have been studying a lot about reaching higher consciousness and perhaps, divine guidance. I have been meditating everyday since May. I personally believe that our Spirit is eternal and that the spirit of my beloved husband is alive, without the human body. I talk to him all the time, and pray that he can hear me sending him love and prayers. There really are "evidentiary" mediums who provide layers of facts to a person in grief about the loved one who has passed. There are free U-Tube videos about how to connect with your loved one, no medium, necessary. We are all "Spirit" living a human story to learn and raise our spiritual level. You and your husband were drawn together on a spiritual level and you will rejoin his spirit, when it is time for your education here in a human story to end. I don't know if any of this brings you any relief, hope, curiosity, but reading books, watching u-tube videos, and meditating is more helpful to me than crying for hours at a time. I have been taught that the more negative we are, the harder it is to connect with higher consciousness, and perhaps, just perhaps, with the spirit of our loved one. My crying is drastically reduced; however, I still remain lost in a crowd. Please feel the love and understanding that I send to you from my heart. May you find joy in your life again. Peace .
Dear Mikellyk, Maybe this will provide you a little spirit relief: Did you know that in the ancient language of Aramaic, spoken in the time of Jesus, the word for "death" translates into "existing elsewhere". There is no death of the spirit, only the human body. And Jesus preached to his disciples to "Be in this world, not of it". There is so much more to you and your late husband than your human "life story". Wishing you, Joy, again.
Mikellyk, I feel your pain. In December of 2023 I lost my wife of 34y to an embolism. One minute she was fine, the next she was gone. I was so broken. I cried for months. Luckily God provided me with direction and a new family of fellow grievers here and at church. I can’t describe just how much that helps. Just having some one to listen is vital. I would also love to turn back time and get her back. We all would. Heck, I still talk to her and write her letters in my journal. That chapter of our lives will never go away and we loved it. Journaling, fellowship, and prayer is critical at this point in your journey. It is a journey none of us wants to be on, it is the cost of loving another. We are here for you anytime you need to talk. We love you and know your pain.
