We were together for 40 years. I'm now 76. I was her caregiver for the last 3 years. We have no children so it was just she an I. I miss her so much. I've lost friends, relatives, both parents but the pain from losing her is overwhelming.
I lost my heat in 2017 and no, it’s not easier. I was my husbands caregiver for his struggle with Parkinson’s from age 45-75. Thirty years of watching the decline and my pain is still overwhelming. I am 80 and I’m working 5 days a week from 7:30-1:00 working with 2-3 year olds . I’m a speech language pathologist and the job is very rewarding, it is actually that I discovered that keeping meaningfully busy is saving my life. I did not want to live after losing my love. I fear stopping my job as my mind will get depressed. Just wanted to know there are people here who understand the searing pain. Sheila
Thank you Sheila. My wife was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in 2018. The Doctors would put her on chemo but the cancer would come back every other year, But in late 2024 it came back with a vengeance. She turned 65 this last December and was really looking forward to her retirement. But by January of 25 she was at home hospice care. It was heartbreaking to see her decline so fast. She passed in early February.
It is so hard to lose someone who has been depending on you and to whom you were so attached. There is such a strong bond formed between the two of you, It is so very difficult to realize they are no longer there. I am like Sheila in a number of ways. I am also a speech/language pathologist. I also didn't want to live after we lost our 28 year old son to suicide. That is a very difficult death experience However, my job was not really a help for me because I did not have the energy needed for the work. I was dysfunctioanl for a very long time. My saving grace was God. I had a pretty close relationship with God before the loss of our son, so I just kept hanging on and waiting for God to help me. I knew no one else could help. I needed God's help so I just kept looking to Him for help and he did help me. Yes, Steve, we undersstand what you mean when you say the pain is overwhelming. I didn't think I could survive it. A counselor said he knew our whole lives were involved with Shawn because of his great need and he asked my husband and me what we could see ourselves doing in 20 years. I thought, "this guy is crazy. I can't even get through one more day and here he is asking me about 20 years." I really didn't think I could go on. I asked God to take me but that wasn't in his plan. I thought about suicide myself, but I knew that wasn't in His plan for me either because I was not emotiionally disturbed and tormented like Shawn was. One day I fell asleep while driving and woke up just as I was headed straight toward a tree. I swerved and hurt my car a little, but I knew then that God was not ready to take me, and I would have to find some way to endure. That way for me was to keep depending on God to help me. I don't know if this is any help to anyone, but I just try to write what God gives me hoping it will help someone in some way. We care about your pain and understand your struggle. Stay connected here and share your feelings as you feel led and as it helps you. Sometimes it is a help to think things through. No one has to have an answer because God will supply tge answer. Chris
