I miss her so much

That is all we can do

 

Bernadine, I learned from Gary that you
are having a special ceremony for Kenn
today, and my thoughts are with you.
I know it will be "happy with sad" , as
Robin said. All TGW understand that
feeling, only too well. God Bless. Lou

 

Bernadine,

Just as Lou learned from Gary, I learned from Lou, that today you are having a special ceremony for Kenn. Although I'm getting here late, you are always in my thoughts and prayers... I don't have the words to express what I'm feeling, because I can't even begin to imagine how difficult today must be... Wrapping you in the biggest cyber hug ever...

Sending lots more hugs, love your way, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Thanks for giving me credit, Deb, while
Gary is "off the grid"! Hope your day is
going OK, Bernadine. Lou

 

Rick, I’m a little behind, I’ve been off a few days. But I’d like to say I’m so sorry for the loss of your wonderful wife Sheila. My name is Robin, I lost the love of my life 3 years ago, very suddenly and unexpected to a massive heart attack. I still miss him every minute of every day. I won’t say that time heals but time does make us stronger. Your loss is so resent, just take one day or one hour even a moment at a time. I can feel your pain in your posts and know what you’re going through and it’s a nightmare. Nothing prepares us for this pain and others don’t understand. Everyone on the site understands. You’re not alone. You’ve gotten good advice from all in this thread. Gary, George, Lou, Deb, Karen etc etc. the holidays magnify our feelings. Ron passed right before Thanksgiving 3 years ago. The holidays give me so much angst. Be kind to yourself. I see you have a daughter, I have a daughter and a son. Without them I don’t know where I’d be but I’d find support through GIC I know. Take baby steps and try to get fresh air. better days are ahead just keep working towards them. ❤️ Robin

 

Thank you Lou. I have been struggling here lately. I feel sometimes that I am torn in half. Most of me wants to live a life that would make my Lizzy proud and happy. But small dark part of me that just wants chuck it all. I wasn't a super religious person. Lizzy was my guiding light. I feel lost, alone, guilty, and pathetic without her. I recently remembered our anniversary is January 29th and she passed on October 29th. I apologize for posting and checking inconsistently. Sometimes it's hard to just take the next breath. -Chad

 

Chad, I'm proud of you that you got on
here this morning. The fact is that I need
you as much as you need Grief in Common.I'm old enough to be your father,
but I feel "Mr. Grief" ( Karen's term) at
unexpected moments. I was listening to
different songs on my phone this am:
Sinatra, Johnny Cash. etc. When I heard
My Way & That's Life, I started crying. I
forced myself out the door, on a gray, cold
snowy morning. I'm sitting in a warm,
cozy breakfast spot, looking at a raging
sea across the street. The ocean feeds my
soul. Are you near the ocean? Linda & I
traveled the country, and I remember
Galveston. Lou

 

Robin, thank you for reaching out to Rick,
who is my age. I hope he stays with us. I
was glad to see Chad on here just now, &
answered him . I told him I was proud of
him, & that I'm old enough to be his father.
I need him as much as needs GIC. In fact,
I was crying to certain songs on my phone
this am, and forced myself outside on a
gray. cold, snowy Sunday morning. It must
be like that where you live. Lou

 

Hi Lou, glad you bundled up warmly to go
out for breakfast this morning. No snow here
but dark, raining. Been off line, just read the
page here of recent posts. Was good to see
Chad posted. Sending hug, prayers to you
and all others here. Patti

 

Of coarse Lou. Reaching out to people helps me too. The holidays sure make things more difficult. I hope getting outside helped you. It’s cold here, and grey no snow. And I’m thankful for that. The emotions with songs are really something aren’t they? One of my biggest supporters when I first joined the site, David. He added songs to everyone’s posts. I didn’t listen to any of them for such a long time. But I let him know it was hard on me. And he was ok with it and said to listen when I was up to it. Hope you’re feeling better.
Robin

 

God Bless you, Patti, for reaching out to
me this am. Snow stopped, sun coming
out, which lifts my spirits. Though snow
is pretty for Christmas morning, it makes
it difficult to walk. Looks like we'll just
have cold temps for a while, which is OK.
I was really glad to reply to Chad. Not sure
Rick will stay with us. This is a tough time
of year, as TGW know only too well. We
need to hug each other virtually, and at
least give each other comfort verbally. Lou.

 

Thank you, Robin, as I told Patti,I feel
better. The snow stopped, and we may
get a little sun. I need to talk with people
today. I'm down the Neck, with shops &
a small cafe. I'm going to visit a young guy
who owns a computer store & has sold
me a new screen, stand, & portable
charger for my phone, so I can check in
with TGW anytime. At the cafe, I listened
to Christmas music, which was peaceful.
My eyes filled up just once, with a
particular carol. Lou

 

Hi Chad,
In this group you can come, and go, as you need. Some like to check in frequently throughout the day. I read here daily but don’t always post. There’s no need to apologize, just breathing is an accomplishment sometimes, you’re doing great.
Everyone’s grief journey is unique and I’m sure the group doesn’t intend to apply pressure to participate beyond what supports any of us in any moment.
I’m not sure we’ve met, Chad. My partner died recently so I’m not always keeping track but I saw your post and wanted to reply. Some days breathing is an accomplishment, if that’s what you’re up against today I would offer that every moment is temporary. That feeling of not being able to breathe will ebb and flow with all of the other parts of grief and life. It’s not forever, it’s not, it’s right now, the next moment will arrive.
Grief is a set of complex, unpredictable emotions and we are strong enough to feel them. All of them. Hang on, lean in, you can do this. ~Bernadine

 

Lou, I woke to snow at 2am this morning! Beautiful, peaceful Winter.
This morning it’s still on the garden and lawn but the streets have cleared.
I have a 4 wheel drive if I have any desire to go out, I don’t , but I could lol.
I would be happy to come over and offer you door to door service to the cafe and back if I were closer. ~B

 

Thanks Deb, and everyone for thinking of me yesterday

 

Sunday Grrettinggs!
I'm so glad there has been no snow far in Chicago! And it hasn't gotten real cold -YET! I dread how were gonna pay for this in Jan and Feb... Did some errands and walked in the cold but no wind! I can deal with that. The wind is the worst.
It was a year ago today I knew Valerie was about to die.
TGW!! Rok

 

Valerie's fav Christmas song: Oh Holy Night

 

Sunny Mild No wind Chilly High pressure Air Mass I say Yes to no snow! Makes driving even suckier.

 

Hi George. Here in northern Calif it's sunny and calm before the rain hits Tues through Christmas with a little snow here just enough to make it a white Christmas.
I don't drive in the snow, no 4 wheel drive besides that, home to the town is hilly and windy.
I loved that Christmas song, Oh Holy Night, but I don't listen to any music, it hits my gut then tears uncontrollably. I had to cancel Pandora, it was Jack's favorite music station.
I hope you're having a good afternoon, blessings all around, Karen

 

We used to dance to Sinatra in our kitchen so many times. Seeing your post helped me today. Thank you. I work overnights and due to covid from home. She used to come into the office and give me a kiss or a neck rub if she woke up. I just had a dream about her, where she had drowned in my childhood pool. I have had many dreams about her. The first one after I had after she passed I will never forget. She was in her hospital bed but in the middle of a garden surrounded by all her family and friends. She was healthy, happy and smiling. I miss her.

-Chad