I miss her so much

Hey, Chad! Woke up AGAIN (too much
herbal tea) & saw your message. I'm glad
you liked my comment to our brother,
Rick. I never had a brother, but feel that
the other widowers on here, from other
parts of the country, are my brothers. I'm
glad you will be with yours in Arkansas.
Your story of a kiss with Lizzy on New
Year's Day, was very moving. My wife,
Linda, and I were married in Las Vegas,
on Jan 1, 1996. I try to be busy, walking
outside & seeing friends that day. I gave up
drinking a year after my wife died, bc I
was becoming MORE depressed. I'm not
hungover on New Year's Day, at least. I'm
ready glad you're staying on GIC. Lou

 

Woke up at 3am so I got to see and read all tis activity. What is it with grieving and waking up in the middle of the night.

 

I so get it with the big empty house. I just moved three weeks ago from my house to a much more sensible apartment!

 

George, I like to drink BIGELOW "Sweet
Dreams"herbal tea ( no caffeine) on these
cold winter evenings. The chamomile
ingredient relaxes me, and makes me go
to sleep early. That's the plus side. The
minus side, is that I have to wake up in
the middle of the night. When that happens, I sometimes have a snack &
check in with GIC. There's usually someone
on here, bc of either insomnia or different
time zones . Now that I've replied to you &
Chad, I can go back to sleep, & hope to
"talk" in the morning. Lou

 

Me and Lizzy were married January 29, 2013 in Las Vegas. That made smile. I have also been staying away from drinking. Need to lose some weight anyways. Thanks for the comment brother.

 

Wow, Chad, you really are like the
youngest brother! Sorry that you were
up all night. Some people try over the
counter Melatonin ( non addictive) to
help relax & sleep for a few hours. I couldn't sleep at all after Linda died. We
didn't go to religious services. but felt
God's presence in nature. We didn't
believe in coincidences, and believed
all of us were connected. Lou

 

Rick, I haven’t written a lister to Ron, I know others have and found it cathartic. I tried but it didn’t go well. I do better talking to him. Definitely worth a try. I understand how you feel now that your daughter isn’t staying with you. My daughter moved back in with me for months. Maybe 6 months and we mourned together, helping each other. She lives close but I felt so much worse when she left to go back to her house. Like you said, the house is big and became bigger and so quiet. There was a time my house felt just like a house not a home any more. Always was my safe place, still is. But it might be feeling like a home again. Thankful for my little dachshund who keeps me company, with no judgement. If you can try to get outside. Even if it’s just in your backyard. And a couple minutes. You might not even realize it but it helps. It gets your blood flowing. Fresh air is the only thing that I can say helps me feel some relief. I also have used breathing exercises that have helped me quite a lot.
We’ll all get through the holidays, I might not be pretty but we’ll get through. Ron is my motivation for everything I do. I need him to still be proud I’m his wife. I know he wants me to be ok and know everything he would be saying to me. I can hear him in my head, walking me through things.
The understanding we get from this site is priceless. A community of people who help each other. Robin

 

Valerie stocked on tea like that she called it "bubblegum for the mind". Drove TBs GF to work now I figure out what to do for the rest of the day! Yes I know I have real "grown-ip" stuff to do. I will do. Can't do anything now but relacks!

 

Lou, I need to get some that tea. I have chamomile tea I think I should try sweet dreams tea. I’m on a mission now. Yea and coffee, go right through me if you know what I mean. But I want to try it and have my daughter Stacey try it too. Frigid cold here today. 22°. I’m guessing you have temps like that too. Stay warm. Robin

 

Oh I work overnights from 9pm to 7:30am, so I am always up at night and sleeping during the day. Trying to get my schedule changed to have more sunlight hours. Working from home alone at night is not ideal right now.

 

Chad, I did the "graveyard" shift a long
time ago. It was during the summer, so
my circadian rhythms were way off. It
was unnatural ---and lonely--- to go to
bed in the morning, when most people
looked forward to a bright, sunny day. I
never really got the rest I needed, which
made me irritable. You would be wise to
get your schedule changed, especially
now, during your mourning for Lizzy. Lou

 

Lou, glad you saw my message. Hope your
weather is behaving (no snow) so you can
be out and about. Do they have a small
gym with treadmill that you can use?
It was so cold this morning, I couldn’t
walk outdoors. We had several days
of heavy rain.
Went to our small complex gym, used
treadmill this morning and early evening,
being antsy, (got slow 6.5 miles in) I get so
lonesome in apartment, getting out
for walks helps me to put my mind in
another place. I keep praying everyday
for each of us on this journey.WE ALL
WILL GET THROUGH THIS.
George, I want to thank you for showing
me the strength you have thru dialysis
three times a week, you have helped me
with serious health issue I’m now dealing
with. BIG HUG to you.God Bless You.
Sending hugs, prayers for everyone.Patti

 

Thank you Lou, I'm not near any big waters, a pond down the street. I need to do some walking, outside that is. I hope to stay better in touch later on with everyone. Yes, Sheila was always concerned about my health, even when I would leave the hospital sitting with her. I'm trying to keep myself good. Rick

 

Chad, glad you are going somewhere for Christmas. I remember when my dad died, mom came up and spent Christmas with us for several years. I understand, don't think I'll be going anywhere though. Know what you mean about New Years, kissed Sheila every year for the last 55 or so. Hope you have a peaceful holiday season. Rick

 

Patti. I can go outside almost every day.
Thanks for asking. The last bad winter with
a lot of snow was 2015, I can always walk
on the plowed streets. It's a small town,
not a city. We don't get the heavy rain
you do. I just need an umbrella for
spotty showers sometimes. Being a New
Englander, I dress in layers. a warm
jacket with hood, and boots! We pray for
your health to impove, Patti. It's good to
welcome 2 new brothers, both from
Texas. I've been talking with young
Chad. So glad you can walk outside. That's
good for all us. Lou

 

I Must of got lost. I must of got lost. I must of got lost somewhere down the line. Wow its great to be back on GIC with TGW. Chad your dream about Lizzy in the garden with all of her family is so beautiful. These are the messages I feed on. It confirms the afterlife is real. Rick my two story old farm house seems like a prison at times. I’m glad you’re burning a candle for Shelia. Cheryl herded a deer my way in Michigan. when I went to retrieve my beautiful four legged sister a black capped chickadee perched very near calling out to me chick a de de de for a few moments then left. I gave a Cheryl a high five to the sky and thanked the Creator for this blessing. Gary

 

I'm here frozen and feeling crappy this weird chrismiss week. (get me through this __?__ week. / fill in the blank: F__kng, hellish, emotional, exhausting, stressful, selfish, cruel, lonely, cold, sickening, messy, exhilarating...)

 

Some great imagery to get me through a frozen morning!~

 

Gary, great to see you back. I've been
welcoming our 2 new brothers from
Texas: Rick ( my age, 72) & Chad (38)
who could be the son I never had. He
has a lot of guts & is a true GW. Hope
Rick stays on GIC. That will make 5 of us, and 6 widows right now. Lou

 

George, I believe in being honest, when
people ask if I have "plans" for Christmas.
A waitress asked me just now, if I was
expecting any gifts. I said my best gift was
cataract surgery, bc I can see far , without
glasses. We were alone, so I told her that
my wife died 3 years ago, and I live by
myself. She stopped short, and was very
compassionate. Lou