On February 6, 2025 my wife and I celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary. Just five weeks later my heart was crushed when cancer ripped her from my arms. Even though we both knew when she was diagnosed that it was a death sentence nothing prepared me for this depth of grief. We married right out of high school, we were both just a couple of kids. Everyone said we would never last. But we did last and raised 4 children together. But now, 60 years later, I find myself living totally alone for the first time in my life and I have no idea what to do. I know it's only been a few days but I feel like I'm unable to function, everthing I look at reminds me of her and I break down in tears. I know eventually this intense feeling of loss and loneliness will start to fade but for now I have this huge black hole in my heart. I wonder how others have dealt with such loss.
Hello Patti, my name is Ed and my wife's name is Carol. I'm pleased to meet you and thank you for your kind reply. Carol was diagnosed with breast cancer 20 years ago and after chemo and surgery we thought she had beat it but 8 years later it reappeared. Another round of chemo and surgery and once again we had hope but 12 years later, last May, it returned with a vengeance and this time there was no stopping it. She died in my arms last Wednesday. Cancer is such a horrible disease. Everything is just so freash in my mind, everything I look at or touch reminds me of my beautiful wife and I break down. Even with our children supporting me I feel so all alone. Do you have any children?
Hi Ed, thanks for letting us know your name and your wife name Carol. Ed it is so recent , Carol was a real trooper like my Jack. I’m so sorry . I remember the months after Jack transitioned , constantly feeling I was In a maize no one close by to help me.We were always together. Everyone told me to. Move near our daughter in SC , I think I made the decision too soon, as I’ve heard best to wait a year. It was a huge change from our home, peaceful country , in the mountains. Ed, I am sure you’ve heard how important it is to eat Healthy do everything to take good care of yourself. Keeping you in prayer and all of us. Blessings,Patti
I can feel the depth of your pain in every word you’ve shared. I too have walked this path of grief, though no two journeys are ever quite the same. I understand what it feels like to lose a soulmate, someone you've spent a lifetime with, and I know that the weight of that loss can feel unbearable. When my own husband passed, I too was left in the silence, surrounded by memories that once brought joy, now only bringing sorrow. For years, we shared everything—dreams, children, and moments both big and small. Then, suddenly, I found myself alone, just as you do now. The grief was overwhelming. At times, I didn’t know how to keep moving, how to go on without the one person who had been my anchor. It's okay to not know what to do, to not have the answers right now. This emptiness you feel is a testament to the love you had, and that kind of loss doesn’t have an easy fix. I want you to know that it’s okay to grieve, to cry, to let yourself feel whatever comes. The sadness is real, and it's something that takes time to heal. For me, time didn’t make the grief go away, but it did help me find a way to live with it. I found comfort in honoring the love we shared, in talking about him with family and friends, and in letting the memories come and go without forcing myself to "move on." I also found solace in little things—taking walks, finding hobbies that connected me to the life we had built, and slowly learning to enjoy quiet moments again, even if they were without him. As you walk through this difficult time, please remember that there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. It’s okay to take it day by day. Let the memories come, but don't feel pressured to be "okay" all at once. Slowly, with time and patience, the sharpness of the grief softens, though the love never fades. You are not alone in this. Others who have experienced similar losses understand the deep ache, and we carry that grief with us, even as we try to live each day. I’m sending you my heart, my thoughts, and my prayers, and I hope you find comfort in knowing that you are not alone.
I lost my husband of 52 years in February this year. I too married him right out of high school. He was in college, but he also left his parents home to start a home with me. I feel so lost without him. I don’t wanna go anywhere or do anything but I feel so lonely for him. I feel like this will never go away.
Thank you for your comments. That's exactly how I'm feeling. I have no desire to go anywhere or to do the things we always did together. And the loneliness is overwhelming. I can be in a crowded room and still be lonely because there's only one person that can fill that empty space in my heart. Holidays are the worse. I know it will never go away but I hope in time I'll learn to better cope with it.
Thank you for your comments. That's exactly how I'm feeling. I have no desire to go anywhere or to do the things we always did together. And the loneliness is overwhelming. I can be in a crowded room and still be lonely because there's only one person that can fill that empty space in my heart. Holidays are the worse. I know it will never go away but I hope in time I'll learn to better cope with it.
