Grief quotes of the day

even in our togetherness here……

 

B, YES, ALONE.

 

Karen, very appropriate WE ARE ALONE!!!

 

I got half a dozen small quotes for this evening:

"If you've got to my age, you've probably had your heart broken many times. So it's not that difficult to unpack a bit of grief from some little corner of your heart and cry over it". - Emma Thompson

"You don't go around grieving all the time, but the grief is still there and always will be". - Nigella Lawson

"Grief is like a moving river, it's always changing. I would say in some ways it just gets worse. It's just that the more time the passes, the more you miss someone". - Michelle Williams

"Grief knit two hearts in closer bonds than happiness ever can, and common sufferings are far stronger links than common joys". Alphonse de Lamartine

"The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living". - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Let no one weeps for me, or celebrate my funeral with mourning; for I still live, as I pass to an from through the mouths of men".

 

So true, within our own hearts we have to take the grieving road to its end. As sad I sometimes get when MR UGLY GRIEF wraps around my heart, which from my posts, you can tell is quite often (at my almost 2-month mark of aloneness), I still feel so much less alone on this road with all of you with me. It doesn't seem to matter to me that you are not in the same physical location, I am just happy to come here and know someone will listen and share my road, my ravings, my tears. We may not know each other's exact intensity of grief or the true nature of all it encompasses, but it matters that we have all experienced great loss and much grief, we can be here for each other and understand what many cannot (unless they have walked in our shoes).
We cannot concentrate on the word "ALONE" .... it's such a sad word and many of us can't handle it right now,,,,,until we can, I prefer to think of my road as having all of you on it to help me when I stumble and fall, to help me accept the changes, to help me to look forward, to help me to NOT FEEL ALONE...the last couple of days have really been an outpouring of my feelings; you all need a rest from me for a while (smile)....PLEASE REMEMBER THIS:


While we grieve, it's so important to remember to look for the sun, we will find it again....can't give up hope EVER!!!! Got to keep the faith!! Sending everyone hugs, prayers, wishes for comfort, peace, joy, love, purpose, strength, anything that will get us through this.....Rita

 

Thank you for your kind words Deb. I really appreciate you. You have a knack for starting a rally when TGW are in a slump. I became A people pleaser in elementary school. Dad changed job locations every year. And it was a different state each move. It was a new school from 3rd-8th grade. I just wanted to fit in. Someone said there are 2 types of people. Rejectors and people pleasers. I’m a people pleaser. Rita has me thinking about how promising our futures are. I’m only 2 years from 70. I’m like everyone else with pending medical issues. Also losing contact with at least half of family and friends. I realize how vulnerable I am now. There are days when I don’t want to go to the mailbox. I’ve survived the last stretch of miserable weather by making hiking sticks and canes. I rarely participate at The in person meetings. It’s easier on zoom (Brady Bunch meeting). Thanks Lou. GIC, Therapy, reading books on psychological and behavior strategies, being outside in nature all help. In the article 6 needs of reconciliation for the Mourner they suggest taking grief in doses. Too much trauma is harmful at one time. Temporarily move away from grief till we recover then move towards it again. In the beginning I was able to have my major balling jags from late morning to early afternoon. Then Mr Grief left me alone at night. I got to help a friend who had car problems today. My Uncle Don wants a cane. I was busy figuring out how to ship it to Florida. Feeling useful makes us feel better. Sleep tight Grief Warriors. In this moment I love you all. Gary

 

Good Morning Grieving Warriors. I hope you all slept well!!!!

"With the new day comes new strenght and new thoughts." - Eleanor Roosvelt

 

Thank you for the positive thought!! Hugs, Rita

 

Something I sometimes find so calming are on-line jigsaw puzzles, it's a go to for me when I want to lose myself in something beautiful and simple. Here is a link for a really great site: Free Jigsaw Puzzles - Jigsaw Puzzle Games at TheJigsawPuzzles.com - Play Free Online Jigsaw Puzzles
It is totally free, and they have a huge selection of all types of puzzles. Please check it out if you need some calming time... I find it very helpful, maybe you will also.

 

Rita,

I LOVE!!!, TUTTAM!!! your very positive way of not concentrating on the word, "ALONE." I agree with your very wise words. We are NOT!!! ALONE because we have each other to help each other not feel so ALONE... I'm still in a very emotional mood... Need a tissue... I'm so over the top grateful to God for giving us each other... WE CAN AND WILL GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER!!!

BTW, I think I can safely speak for all of us when I say we don't need a rest from you. However, if you need a break from GIC, go for it!!! As Gary recently said, the secret to life is balance and moderation. We'll be here for you, waiting for you..., whenever you want/need to "talk," or just "listen" to our stories, as we continue to do our very best to heal. There IS strength in numbers...

Sending you zillions of hugs, lots of love, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Gary,

Similar to the article 6 Needs of Reconciliation for the Mourner, Zuba believes that if we let ourselves feel all this heartbreak all at once, it would be too much, we couldn't survive. Your advice to "temporarily move away from grief till we recover then move towards it again," is over the top excellent advice. From personal experience, it is some of the very best advice I've ever been given.

I agree that feeling useful, helping others, is one of the very best ways we can help ourselves feel better. A very good neighbor dropped by this morning. We talked for a long time about grief. His sister, who he was very close to, died several weeks ago. He told me he needs to keep busy because when he doesn't have things to take his mind off of his pain, it becomes too overwhelming. He can't handle it. He is the neighbor I often talk about, the one who would give you the shirt off his back, if it was below zero and he didn't have another one to put on. He does so many things for me, mows the grass, reseeded (??) my yard, fixes whatever breaks inside or outside, etc., etc., etc. He cooks weekly meals for those in need at his church, paying for many of the ingredients he purchases out of pocket, helps with Friday night fish fries during Lent, is involved in numerous charities, plus he is always ready to help a neighbor in need. His wife is just as kind and caring as he is. This morning I told him I don't believe in coincidences. I believe God put me in the house next door to theirs. He said he and his wife talked about this and agree. It's such a good feeling to know there are so many wonderful people in this world... I'm in an over the top emotional mood today. I need a tissue...

Before my neighbor left, I gave him my copies of "Permission To Mourn" and "Becoming Radiant" to read. I think he's going to find them as helpful as we have.

Stopping here, before I begin rambling on and on and on... I have such an ambitious to do list for today, and so far, I haven't accomplished anything on it.

As always, sending you lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Helena,

You express your emotions so beautifully, from the heart... If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have this very special thread. I LOVE!!! that you started "Grief Quotes Of The Day!!!," TUTTAM!!!, a zillion times!!! You are a very much loved and important member of GIC, TGW... I'm very grateful for you, for your friendship, for all the wonderful grief quotes you give us, that make us think, help us as we fight our daily battles with Mr. Grief.

As I've been saying, first to Rita, then Gary, now to you, I'm in an over the top emotional mood today. I don't think I'm going to accomplish everything I wanted to accomplish on my daily to do list, but I want to get at least a few of the items off of it. So...

Stopping here (for now). Backing up just a bit, there is no way I'm going to stop "talking" to my GIC friends!!!, TUTTAM!!! You, and each and every one of my GIC friends, my GW friends, have become a very important part of my life. I'm so over the top grateful for all of you. There is NO!!! way I'm going to become permanently MIA.

As always, sending you lots of hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Helena,

I'm glad I was able to get you to smile the other day... Smiles are SO!!! over the top important!!!, TUTTAM!!! Smiles are another thing on my increasingly growing list of things I'll NEVER!!! take for granted again.

As always, sending you hugs, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

TGWs - ever since I made the comment about age 70+ and the fact that it seems more difficult to focus on the future after a great loss, I started to realize how really defeating that statement sounded. I mean, what if we live to be 100+......what if we don't try to help ourselves and we remain miserable and devasted for all that time...what if we give up now and don't do anything to fix ourselves or help to fix others who feel as devastated as we do at this moment....oh God, how sad would that be and what a disappointment I feel I would be to those loved ones gone before me.....I have begun to try to do positive things, even in my grief, to help myself take baby steps forward, just so I won't give up. As so many say, "IT IS NEVER TOO LATE". So, as we grieve, mourn, feel sad, feel devasted, are working through our own problems and health (which we all have), we still have SO MUCH to offer others who need the same thing we need, support to keep getting up. keep trying, keep going, start smiling again, looking for the sunshine, rising above the clouds.....


I PRAY WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER TO KEEP MOVING FOWARD ON OUR GRIEF ROAD.....HELP EACH OTHER TO FIND THE SUNSHINE IN SO MANY THINGS WE NOW CAN'T SEE, SENDING HUGS, COMFORT, STRENGTH, LOVE AND PRAYERS, and lastly a SMILE to you all, Rita

 

Patti,

Thank you so much for sharing this very beautiful poem with us. There is so much love shining through your words... It's making me teary eyed, but mostly in only the very best of ways...

With lots of hugs & love to you and JayCee, wishing you peace, all of us peace. DEB

 

Can anybody explain the Definition of MIA that I see in some correspondence here?

Missing in action
Made in Abyss
Mobile Internet Access
Music Industry Arts
Most Idle Agent
Miami International Airport

 

Hi Helena, MIA in our cases stands for "Missing in Action", which usually means that people who normally post here have been absent for a while because they are either very busy or having to take a step back away from GIC to take a deep breath and figure out just where they are in the grief process. When they start posting again and say "I have been MIA for a while", that is what they mean, they have not posted (been part of the action/conversations) in a while for whatever personal reason. I think everyone needs to take a personal break occasionally to find themselves or handle personal things. Hugs, Rita

 

Thanks Rita!