My Name is Kasey, my husband of 18 years passed away October 2023. This has been the most difficult time in my life. No longer a wife, a helper, a friend to my husband. Pancreatic Cancer took him, I spent 22 months as his only 24/7 caregiver. Then another 13 months in our home in some form of emotional and physical paralyzation. I woke up one morning and decided to sell our home. It seemed everywhere I looked, I saw Wayne and what I had lost. The deepest pain and despair had swallowed me whole for so long. Two weeks later the house sold and I had to quickly find a new place. I found a new build Townhome. I don't see what I don't have any longer; however there is nothing wrong with my memory. Last week I realized, as believers in God; that my husband was happy where he is. That he wouldn't trade his new life with the one he left behind. That one was an epiphany for me. He would not want me to make grieving him, a permanent destination. Wow, it means I have to wake up now. This week it will be 18 months since he passed in our home, in our bedroom; with me by his side. I still struggle with too many alone hours in a day. Trying to force myself to go out and do something, anything....just get moving again. Are any of you at this place of transition? From being the person who felt dead inside, to now wanting to be alive again?
