Lost him. Why. 35 years. My entire life gone

I have a huge hole in my chest filled with the most God awful pain. The hole is where my heart used to be . Where Johnny used to be. He left but the pain won't go. It's been two weeks and the pain is only getting worse. I cannot see how I can continue without him. I want to die. Why didn't I. I watched him take those last three breaths and when his chest stopped so did my heart. He owned me. He loved me and I him. I have been suffering alone in this house. Alone
Help me please

 

Just saw your post - I've been feeling the same. Lost my Jason 3/10 - he was 41 and I found him. I'm here if you want to chat

 

I am sorry for your loss and your heartache. I felt the same way you do when our son died. I couldn't understand why I was still here when he was gone. He had many difficulties mentally and we were very close. You didn't die because God has a purpose for your life and it is not yet fulfilled. Talk to Him and ask him what you should do with your life now. We only have one chance to make our life worthwhile and significant for the benefit of others.
Continue to post here where people really care about other people.
Jesus cared the most by giving his life so that we could repent, have our sins forgiven, and come back into communion with God and help other people.
The scriptures say, "when you seek me with all your heart, then you will find me."
Sending my condolences for your loss,
Chris