It's been 11 days since I lost my only son suddenly and unexpectedly. I don't know how to grieve and move forward with my life. I don't know what I should be doing or feeling. I am lost. Will the pain ever be bearable?
Hello there so sorry for the loss of your son. I was caring for my Mom when my brother passed 4 months ago and then she just passed to be with God a week ago. I saw her when she was hurting from losing her son, my brother and she was crushed. I tried to provide her simple guidance each day to try to eat and if you are anything like me this is difficult. I sometimes don't eat but if I can't I try to make a smoothie with avocado to get something in. I was shaking and getting dizzy so I figured I would eat and force it down. If you have someone you can call each day to talk then do that, or type in here what you feel each day and what you are going through. I used to say to my Mom there will be good days and not so good days and now I am telling myself these things as I feel the pain. I was having a good day today cooking, cleaning (but still haven't eaten) I cooked for my boyfriend though, so it gave me something to do. I then got a phone call, and it had the town my Mom lived in on the caller ID and I felt scared and got emotional. I ended up listening to one of the voicemails she left me a month or so ago. I had not heard her voice in a long time because when she was in the hospital she was intubated. I got so emotional and still am but what I am doing is coming in here and I saw your post, so I type to you. I know the pain I saw in my Mom after she lost her son. I was praying so hard and trying to lead her to God, but she was mad at God. I said believe that I believe, and she said OK, so she made a beginning. God counts that as perfect. I know she is with God now and also my brother and this doesn't always console me but when I think of how beautiful God's love is then it does bring peace. Stay here and connect with others going through the same as you and it will guide you through. xoxo Heather
Heather thank you so much for your response. You can't imagine how much your words meant to me. My condolences to you and your family on the loss of your mom and brother. Eating and sleeping have been hard. My husband has been making sure I eat and drink something every day. I have moments when I can't stop crying. I allow myself to cry for as long as I need to. Then there are moments when, I think of him and laugh because he was always laughing and smiling. I know my baby is at peace with God. He also would not want me to be sad or stop living. But right now, I am grieving badly. I have asked God to help me with the pain. Guide me through this time and heal me from the pain. I know in time that things will get better. I will grieve for the rest of my life but hopefully, it won't be as painful as it is today.
I am so sorry for the loss of your dearly beloved son. There is no replacing him. For myself, the only way the pain was bearable was to completely cast my care upon Jesus Christ and have confidence that He would help me-and he did. God is full of mercy and grace and willing to help us when we are at our weakest. Hold onto hope and your faith and God will carry you through. Love, Chris
I am so sorry for the loss of your son. My deepest condolences. Mine committed suicide just 4 days ago, and I’m in shock. He was in a bad way - substance abuse had caused him to lose everything in his life, and he was living homeless in a tent, and for him, this was the only way to get out of his pain and misery. I have been expecting the phone call advising me of this, for 2 years now. My stomach has been churning since I found out. I’m now in the process of trying to cope with organizing final arrangements, from another country, and I’m 9 hours behind them. And I’ve never had to deal with organizing this sort of thing before, and I’m getting angry that everyone expects me to know what to do. I can’t even think straight.
I am very sorry for the loss of your son. I understand the feeling that you can't even think straight. I remember standing in the middle of my kitchen having to remember how to fix a grilled cheese sandwich. It is such a shock that no one should really expect anything of you, but people who haven't experienced the trauma you have will not, cannot understand. May God give you clarity of mind and wisdom in the decisions you have to make. Is there anyone close who would be willing to help you? You are going to need all the support you can give. We love and care about you. Chris
I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my only child, Matt, on 8-24-25 to sudden cardiac death and my sister on 8-14-25. I am so lost without him. We were so close. He left a wonderful wife and 3 beautiful children. Some days I still don’t believe it, but then reality hits and it causes actual physical pain.
I am sorry for your loss. Losing a child no matter what age is devastating and only God was able to help me to continue on. I know what you mean about the physical pain. Sometimes my chest felt like it was going to explode. It takes a long time to accept that this has really happened and accept that we will no longer see them in this life. You may find yourself waiting for their car to pull into the driveway or for them to knock on your bedroom door wanting you to get up to keep them company. But we can have hope because we know that God loved them even more than we did and because of Jesus' sacrifice at Calvary, this life is not the end of the story.
