My grandmother passed March 17,2018. It has taken a huge toll on me. The feeling of being lost, hopeless and heartbroken seems to have consumed me. Almost exactly a month later, I took the dreaded pregnancy test and watch it turn into a positive sign, indicating that I was indeed pregnant. I'm newly 25, trying to figure out life, trying to go to school and trying to make sense of my relationship with my boyfriend. Why did this have to happen now? I wasn't ready for a kid; mentally, physically or financially. It wasn't fair bringing a child into that. So my boyfriend and I came to the mutual decision that I would get an abortion. I did. I don't regret it, but it makes me wonder. It's interesting that when it rains, it really does pour. I have been struggling with the death of my grandma and this happened. I can't help to wonder if that was meant to be? Should I have kept it? As cheesy as it sounds, I recently rescued a dog that has changed my life. She has gave me purpose in life. She was there for me through my grandmother's decline, taking her to visit her- my grandma loved her in the short time she knew her. I thought that my dog happened to come into my life at the most perfect moment to help me with my grandma's death. But the pregnancy really threw me a curveball. I just wonder.