Spouse / Best pal / Mentor

Discussion in 'Loss of Spouse' started by dianrib43, Jan 5, 2017.

  1. dianrib43

    dianrib43 New Member

    Its been 6 1/2 yrs since my love passed but I have not regained my sense of belonging, of peace, of purpose. I trusted loved and respected him for 46 yrs till he died of cancer at home with family. 2 yrs later My daughter at 39 had a stroke. I cared for her for for 3 yrs as well as my grand child...who is now grown. 8 months ago My grand child decided to move out, expressed horrible anger & insults. We adored this grand child since birth. MY spirit is dead. I feel like I am drifting away. I fear the future. I've tried everything to no avail. I can not imagine the pain of those who lost a child. MY deepest sympathies to all of you.
     
  2. SmallTee

    SmallTee New Member

    It will be 4 years in April. I tried starting over this year to no avail. Emotionally I am wreck. Everybody tells me that my children should give me strength but what if it's not working. I miss my husband my partner he was my everything.
     
  3. dianrib43

    dianrib43 New Member

    Its been 6 + yrs for me Woke up sad each day He was my sold mate. I tried a new med for depression It has helped but of course I will miss him till I leave this earth. Great husband, dad, grand dad. There will come a day when you can recall sweet memories without so much pain...even joy ! Take care Never give up
     
  4. LindaU

    LindaU Member

    My best friend, my soulmate, the love of my life died in October 2015. He was my life, also. We had an exceptional marriage- 25 years of happy ever after. We never even fought. I miss him so much, I cry almost every day. I am having a real hard time with grieving him. I don't want to look ahead to a life without my Joe. I am alone and lonely without him. We moved to Harrisburg about 10 years ago and I had back problems at the time and then Joe got sick and wanted me with him all the time so I never made friends down here. I hope to find friends here. I know what you are feeling. It is so hard.
     
  5. Husband in sorrow

    Husband in sorrow New Member

    i think of my wife everyday in every activity. The pain of her leaving is sometimes unbearable. We were together for over 40 years and almost constantly for the last two years. She was my best friend.
    People tried to be helpful at first but now I find it difficult to share my feelings with anyone. I feel like I'm locked in mourning.
    Today is exactly 9 months since her passing. I love her still and miss her. I pray for a chance to help myself. God help me.
     
  6. Husband in sorrow

    Husband in sorrow New Member

    i think of my wife everyday in every activity. The pain of her leaving is sometimes unbearable. We were together for over 40 years and almost constantly for the last two years. She was my best friend.
    People tried to be helpful at first but now I find it difficult to share my feelings with anyone. I feel like I'm locked in mourning.
    Today is exactly 9 months since her passing. I love her still and miss her. I pray for a chance to help myself. God help me.
     
  7. LindaU

    LindaU Member

    So sorry for your loss. My husband was also my best friend. My first year after my Joe died was very traumatic. I had bad back problems so Joe took care of everything. When he died, I hadn't driven in 15 years, I didn't know how to change the furnace filter. I was helpless and hopeless. I didn't do anything but cry, had lots of anxiety about what I was going to do and of course major depression. In this, my second year of grieving, I tried to get out of the house more. The smallest thing can start me crying. I found grief meetings and lunches, etc given by a hospice. That has helped to learn more about grief, to find out that what you are having is normal. I also am seeing a psychologist to help with the grief. The hospice and my psychologist help me to understand the many facets of grief. The only thing I wanted after Joe died was for me to die and be with him, but luckily I have two grown sons who need me. I am all they have. That has kept me moving and trying to find some peace. I can't imagine that I will ever be truly happy again. Try to find somewhere to talk about grief with people who really understand what you are going thru. Keep in touch. Write if you want to. I will listen. Linda
     
  8. Husband in sorrow

    Husband in sorrow New Member

    I've tried to find grief counseling groups but felt so out of place. Maybe I didn't find the right one yet. I have my daughter and my two grandchildren but she has her own loss to deal with and I hate to add to her struggle by getting her worried about me. I spend a lot of time with my grandchildren. Always did. The time with them gives me comfort. I'm retired so I have plenty of time alone when they are at work and school. That is when I get to feeling really alone. I've thought of trying to get back to work to fill the time.
    I've experienced the feelings of joining her like you. Time seems to be a factor in recovery. During her illness and treatment I always tried to reassure her that things would be okay because that's what the doctors told us. At the end of her treatments we started to make plans for our future and I believed in them too. Her turn for the worse was sudden so I never really got to say goodbye. It was that quick.
    Thanks for taking the time to write. I'll keep plodding along as long as I can. This is the most difficult thing I've experienced in my life. I feel loss, anger and frustration. It just doesn't seem to subside.
     
  9. lifting others up in prayer as I too am feeling so at a loss without my dear husband for sixty one years. I
    Don't know what to do as life is so full of uncertainties of where do I belong and have been so heartbroken by our
    Son and one Daughter, I have TRUELY learnt who our careing friends and family are. I just moved to South Carolina
    this week, to be near our oldest daughter and family.am in the midst of looking for a house to rent and am really trying to move through this most difficult time in my life. I am now having to start all over with household and furnishings, the one daughter and son took all I had except what I put in my car, so sad but from reading of others elderly I see I am not alone
    As other parents are going through much the same. I cared for my husband the last eight years 24-7 due to progressive parkinsons, which was DX'D 24 years ago I just thank God for providing me with health to do the best I could for him, I
    Could never have placed him in a care facility. He passed away in my arms, I can still hear his whispers thanking me and telling me I was his everything as he was mine. I know he is at peace but I feel at such a loss . Please pray for me as I am looking for a place to rent and to get settled and move forward in Gods care. Thank you .
     
  10. I am so sorry, I know the feeling of feeling being locked in with the sorrow of loosing my husband. We were married 61 years he had Parkinsons for 24 years. I totally cared for him the last eight 1/2 years. He was my everything in life. November 7 2016 the memory of that day it seems like only yesterday. I call out to God everyday to help me. I know it is due to my faith that I get through each day. I pray God to give you comfort, everyone else going through their loss and myself.
    God bless. Patti
     
  11. Linda praying for you. I moved to South Carolina to be near our oldest daughter, but haven't made any friends yet here, it's hard to make new friends. I am really wanting to move back to California. So sorry for your loss, like you, I cry and cry every day and then some, it has been a year that I lost my husband. It seems like only those that have lost a husband/wife understand what we all are going through. Patti
     
    Elaine8 likes this.
  12. Dianrib I am so sorry, pray for things to get better. Hugs, Patti
     
    griefic likes this.