Shattered Heart

Discussion in 'Finding it Difficult to Move Foward' started by Cyndi Johnson, Oct 1, 2017.

  1. Cyndi Johnson

    Cyndi Johnson New Member

    My Husband, soul mate, best friend (you get the picture)passed suddenly, shockingly in his sleep. We took a nap, I woke up he never did February 24, 2017..... I cannot do much but cry. Sadness surrounds my being no matter what I attempt to try.
  2. Dianne De Mott Levi

    Dianne De Mott Levi New Member

    I am so sorry. I lost the love of my Life on March 22nd, 2016. I too have no joy in my heart.
  3. Sheila512

    Sheila512 Active Member

    I share your has been a little over a year and I actually feel worse. I think keeping busy was my coping mechanism and when I stop and think for a moment, it all comes back. I put his picture up as my screensaver...he is smiling and it comforts me and the tears are good then.
    Cathy Jones likes this.
  4. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Hi Sheila, thanks for being here with us. You're right...being busy can help, but it isn't a cure. I think grief usually hits the hardest when we stop. When it's quiet, or when we're without a task right in front of us. For some the answer is to never stop and to never be without something to do...but I'm not sure that really helps. The real healing happens when we're able to sit in that quiet and work through the grief that comes with it. In some ways we can welcome it, as the testament to our love that it provides. We can become comfortable with the grief as the reminder of true love that will always be with us. Knowing that nothing can ever bring our loved one back may mean it's the only choice we have.
    I am glad you are here sharing your story and hope you will continue to return to let us know how you're doing...
    We truly wish you all the best~
  5. deb1125wa

    deb1125wa New Member

    I lost my husband of 32 years unexpectedly on January 3, 2018. The emptiness, loneliness, sadness, hurting......everything is so intense. I worry I will forget what he looks like. I don't have anything with his voice on it and that I regret. Just to hear his voice one more time would be such a joy! I do alright for the biggest part of the day, but evenings and weekends bring on the tears. I don't know why I dread the weekends like I do. One thing I've learned is that I'm not afraid to die now because I know Nelson will be there waiting for me with a great big hug!
  6. Sheila512

    Sheila512 Active Member

    Deb, after a while you will stop thinking about dying so you can be with Nelson. He is already with you and you can feel him if you let yourself. I was watching a Do-wop concernt on TV and we both love this music. I cried all the way through the concert, but the tears were not sad. They were good memories with a touch of loss. It was a cleaning cry. One day at a time. Sheila
  7. deb1125wa

    deb1125wa New Member

    Sheila512, thank you for the words of encouragement. And the "one day at a time" statement is exactly how life is right now, but I'm not "stuck" anymore. I feel I am moving forward....very slowly.
  8. Sheila512

    Sheila512 Active Member

    Deb, how are you today? Hopefully still moving forward. I am having one of those 'down' days but I will perk up. The hard part is knowing it will never end