My husband was the victim of a homicide.

My husband, Bob, was the victim of a homicide, on July 2, 2017, so this is a recent loss. We were legally separated, but lived a half a block apart. In these later years we had developed a close friendship/companionship, and he was my support system through a number of health issues and the death of my younger sister in November, 2016. My mother is in hospice care, and I have been her main caregiver for the 10 years before hospice. My son and daughter-in-law have been very supportive, but my son has his own grief to deal with as well.
I feel totally unmoored and lost. I can't see any way forward. The death of my sister and my husband within the past nine months has been just too much. My sister died of metastasized breast cancer. She lived in Ohio, and I have spent the last nine years travelling back and forth to Ohio to be with her after treatments and surgeries. I was with her through home hospice, residential hospice and on through her death and funeral services. My husband was my main support through all of this. He did as much to help me as he possibly could, including taking care of my house and my cats. He helped me with so much that I could not do for myself, and now there is no one. All I can think about is how lonely every single day is without him. My sister is the person I would have turned to for consolation, and she is dead as well. I am now facing the death of my mother sometime relatively soon. I feel that I have been inundated with sorrow. I am drowning and can't figure out a way to help myself.

 

I am really sorry to hear everything you are going through. I can only imagine how alone you feel at this time. I'm praying for you and your strength to continue to heal during this horrible time in your life.
I have lost my husband 350 days ago....I'm nearing his 1 year mark. He was killed too. We were separated as well. The loneliness I feel going through anything stressful is so hard on me I sympathize for you and how you feel right now. I know there are no words I can say to you. Just know that you are not alone and I am more than happy to lend an ear if you need one.

 

Dear Salena,
Thank you for your kind words. I am also sorry for what you are going through as well. It feels so strange to have Bob's life ended in such a terrible way. Someone TOOK it from him and it was so senseless. My husband died two months ago today. It feels like forever ago. I can't even imagine being able to manage this terrible grief for a year. Somehow my real life disappeared, and I am stuck with this terribly lonely one. I do try to keep up with appointments, meet with friends, go shopping and so on. I feel like I would end up stuck in my house forever if I didn't force myself to go out, but it's a real effort to do so. When I look to the days ahead, I only see grief and loneliness. I imagine this has all been very hard for you as well, and you truly do have my sympathy. Thank you for your prayers. I will pray for you also, especially as you come to that one year anniversary.