I'm at a loss as where to even turn anymore. My boys Tyler age 7 and Prestyn age 6 went to camp with their dad. The world was perfect until it wasn't, I received a call that my sons fell into a river during whitewater rafting season. My 7 year old was DOA my 6 year old was air lifted to the hospital near the capital. I went numb I dropped the phone and screamed. I couldn't breath,it was like I was just hit by an 18 wheeler. I was having a nightmare and I couldn't wake up! I rushed to that hospital 90 miles away! My baby was on life support, I begged and pleaded with God to not take both of my babies but it was to late after 48 hours there was nothing left for the doctors to do, my baby boy was brain dead and we needed to let him go. My world fell apart! We donated his organs to save 2 other children. But I was still angry at God. How was I going to go on? I managed to remain strong for my girls who were traumatized by the whole turn of events. My oldest daughter who tried to save her little brother is now full of anger and aggression and won't let anybody close to her. I've learned lately in order to fix my children I need to fix myself but how can I when I'm still so angry.