I met my fiance 9 years ago this year, she had health issues but not that bad but they got real worse starting 7 years ago i have been taking care of her, at every doctor visit and hospital except a few times. Even tho she had really bad health problems i didn't think she'd die this soon. Best 9 years of my life but now its going to be worst time of my life probably till i am dead. She passed a few days ago. I just found this site randomly figured i'd see if talking to others helped. We were definitely going to get married things just got inbetween that. I'm disabled mentally(depression,panic disorder) and so was she when i first met her. So i at least had all time in the world to help her. Now i don't even know what to do with myself. I love music movies video games and books so i been using those to kill time and i'll be busy with dealing with stuff too along with her family. Haven't had ceremony yet. I feel like my life is just going to be pointless exictance now till i am lucky enough to go. I'm not sure why i'm on here writing this tbh. It sucks all of you must be feeling somewhat simular weather it was your mom your kid or your baby and everything inbetween.
