Lost my everything

Hi.I'm new to this site.I lost my husband Dec.13,2016.pancreatic cancer stole him from me he was only 42.we were together 16 wonderful years.the best day of my life was when I met him.it was love at first conversation.I watched him fade away in front of me doctors could do nothing.I'm haunted by the memories of watching him slip from me and die in my arms.Every day harder.

 

I' m new to this as well.Im so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband at 50 years old on October 5th 2016 from a massive heart attack where he died in my arms and I relive that day over and over again in my head. My family tell me it's time to move on yet, it' getting worse. I'm realizing that the reality that he's gone is setting in and I just can't handle it. How are we suppose to move on with out them? I just can't.Thanks for sharing.

 

I am also new to this site. My husband of 31 years died 1/28/17, of esophageal cancer. We tried everything we could but the cancer was aggressive he was sick for only 6 months. He died in my arms surrounded by our family. I take solace that I was there holding and comforting him. I miss him every day and I cry every night. But I am comforted in knowing that I was there in the hour of his need, when he needed me most. Thanks for sharing your story

 

I made a typo, my husband died January 28, 2018. Not 2017.
He died on my son’s 29th birthday .

 

I am new too. My husband died of metastatic colorectal cancer in the brain on August 21st 2017. It was a long and painful struggle - almost 5 years and in the last months he was very abusive, selectively to me, so it was not a happy parting. Apparently this is not uncommon. In spite of this I stuck with him and was the only person present at his end.

Our two dogs died too, all three of them within three weeks so I lost the three loves of my life in a very short period.

My mother is in the same nursing home where my husband died. She has lost mental capacity and is expected to die very soon. My father died in 1996 and I am a childless only child so I have no family support. I am finding it tough especially since so many of the people who were in my life when my husband was alive have disappeared completely. We English are not good at dealing with death and people would rather avoid you than face a bereaved person.

 

My husband of 21 years also died from esophageal cancer. He was a construction worker down at 9/11. Our stories are very similar, he lasted on 6 months and passed away October 13th surrounded by his family. I also cry everyday and it seems like it's getting more difficult for me as time goes by.

 

I agree, it seem like it is getting more difficult. Everyone has gone back to their busy lives, but my life has changed drastically. I try to stay busy, but in the evenings it's hard. Spring is here and this is when we would start to make plans for the summer. We would plan out what improvements we were going to focus on for the yard, (we had just moved into our dream home and were going to do landscaping together, a little bit each year). All my dreams of the future include him. I feel lost, and unsure what to do next. I take one day at a time, that's all I can do.

 

Our stories sound similar. My husband just got us a house , we had plans to grow old together and this sickness came out of no where. We just started doing things as a couple because our kids were grown. My life was perfect for a year and then it was ripped away from me. He was my everything and now I am stuck here without him. I take one day at a time too but I don't see this sadness getting any better

 

I am amazed at how similar our stories are. I felt that my life was perfect too. Yesterday it was 10 weeks since Jeff had passed. Everyone seems to be going on with their lives, and here I am trying to picture my future without him.

 

My husbands name was Jeff too.

 

I think people just don't know what to say also. I am so emotional, that I can cry over anything and that makes people uncomfortable.

 

The common factor here is that everybody else is getting on with their lives. I don’t have any children or family so I am very isolated. I have friends but they all have partners and/or families and naturally they take priority.

Many of the people who were in my life before Garrath’s death have disappeared completely. It is as if widowhood is some kind of social disease and they are afraid to catch it.

 

Yes life goes on. I have had people turn their backs on me that I would have never expected them too. I guess they where my husbands friend and not mine. You can't help but feel rejected and hurt.

My children are grown and everyone has their own lives so it's very quiet. I have a couple of good friends that I try to keep busy with. I joined the gym just for some type of interaction. I have looked social/widow group just for the socialization but they are almost non-existent by me. I am just constantly looking for things to do so I do not have to be alone with my thoughts.

 

I joined a bereavement group, it starts up at the end of the month. I'm hoping to get some ideas on how to cope w

 

(sorry I hit reply too soon)
I joined a bereavement group, it starts up at the end of the month. I'm hoping to get some ideas on how to cope with the void that seems to be in every aspect of my life right now.

 

I am new to this my husband died 7/3/2017 suddenly of a blood clot. It has been 9 months and I find myself crying daily. Friends and family think I should be further along in my grieving. My husband and I were married 13 years how do I just get over his being gone as they seem to think so easy.

After the holidays I began to see a Christian grief counselor. I thought that me being a Christian this journey of grief would be an easier journey. A lot of my friends say you will see him again in heaven. That is not what I am struggling with I am struggling with the absence of his presence now. I feel as if a part of my own flesh has been ripped from me. My counselor suggested that it might be helpful to try an online grief support group. I want to connect with others who can understand how I am feeling in this journey as I stated family and friends seem to be tired of walking this journey with me.

 

I feel the same way. A piece of me is missing. The life we had planned is no longer, it doesn't exists. It is easier for others that have loved him, they were not with him every day, making memories and just doing the day to day things. There is a void, my home is not as comfortable as it once was.
I understand

 

Though there is nothing good in my husband being gone it does feel good to be able to have a conversation with someone who understands. Someone who isn't trying to tell you to move on with life. Thanks for listening.

 

My husband died 1/28/18, I have good days and I have bad days, but every day , every minute he is on my mind and will always be in my heart. I do not think I could keep my cool if someone told me to move on. I have to figure out how I'm going to get though each day not to mention all the firsts that I haven't experienced yet.
No one can tell you how or when to move forward, you have to work it out for yourself. You have to have time to grieve, and everyone grieves differently.