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Lossing siblings and my father

Discussion in 'Dealing With Multiple Losses' started by LynnVill, Jun 16, 2018.

  1. LynnVill

    LynnVill New Member

    It was year 2007, when i lost my 2nd brother, the night before we found out he died, mom was watching the tv, and i was just in my room, crying with no tears, i just felt like i just needed to cry. It was 8:30pm that time. The next day someone came to us and told us they found my brother in a morgue, we were so shocked. We thought the he already travel to see his wife in Manila, when i saw him lifeless, i suddenly remember, that what i was feeling about wanting to cry the previous night was the exact time he was dying because some people murdered him. I am so devastated. I could say a word, Deny and conceal my feelings so i could not feel the pain, but... it became the opposite, because of concealing it, it Got trapped in my mind and in my heart, so whenever i remember him, i feel the same kind of pain, that they he died.
     
  2. LynnVill

    LynnVill New Member

    and it was, May in 2013, when i felt very very sad, i ddnt even knew what was the reason im upset, it was 11:20 in the night when my co-workers invited me to join them for sinner, they talked about some very funny joke and to their suprise i wasnt laughing at all, i just felt very strange. I couldnt laugh. When i got home. I recieved a call from my mom, telling me my eldest brother is dead. I couldnt believe it, so i asked mom if who is she talking about, without a word my tears where sliding through my face already, i am so shocked. I couldnt feel my hands. It was very painful and i think i might go crazy, so i did what could to conceal my griefs. I dont want to breakdown. As what it does always, it’ll not help me, instead it will torture me for the rest of my life, making me remember exact devastating feeling from the time when i loss my brother.Denying and diverting yourself from the painful event, and not becoming truthful to yourself wont give you peace. It has been 5 years since we lost my elder brother, but the pain still feels like it happened just today.