Loss of my Sister - getting more difficult

Discussion in 'Loss of Sibling' started by Stacey, Feb 7, 2018.

  1. Stacey

    Stacey New Member

    I lost my sister almost three months ago. I wrote about her and posted in the sudden loss section. I knew things would be hard for a while, there would be no true end to my grieving process. What I didn't anticipate was how much worse it would be now. I think about her and miss her from morning to night. It is impossible to function. I don't want to talk to anyone, yet I am upset that people have stopped calling. I barely go outside and basically eat all day. I don't know how I can eat - when my parents passed away, I couldn't eat at all. My heart is broken. I have forgotten how to live. I have forgotten the things I used to like to do. I have forgotten how to do all the little things that made up my day. It takes me longer to do everything from taking a shower in the morning to fall asleep at night. I see a grief therapist and feel better for the hour I am with her but worse after I leave. I want my best friend back. I need her back.
     

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  2. Hannah Laudo

    Hannah Laudo Member

    Hi Stacey,
    I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time processing the loss of your sister, I know it's difficult to imagine right now, but it does eventually get easier. Some days are harder than others, but you will get to a point where you will gain the strength to push through the grief. You will tell yourself "She would want me to get out of bed and conquer this day." It doesn't take away the pain, but it helps.

    I'm always here if you need someone to talk to!
     
  3. Aila

    Aila New Member

    Hi Stacey,

    I lost my brother suddenly 6 months ago, and when you lose someone quickly like that, the shock to your system often takes a while to catch up to you. It's totally understandable that you feel even worse now as the reality of what you've lost has begun to set in. We never fully get over a love so strong, or a loss so deep. We just gradually learn to absorb the sorrow and stand up to live another day. Some days I feel like I died too that day I lost my brother, but they just forgot to bury me. I feel adrift, like a ghost of my former self. Siblings know us better than we know ourselves sometimes, and losing your sister can feel like a big part of you went with her. I also eat too much to dull the silent roar in my end--it's a numbing mechanism, and I know it, but there are more unhealthy ways to try and cope so I'll take what I can get. It's better than alcohol or drugs. Your grief timeline is your own. I'd just say, lean into it...the sorrow is your companion, so pay attention to it. Cry, and cry some more. Take time to let the grief overwhelm you for a while and sink into it. Later, I'd encourage you to reach out to someone. You feel alone, but you're not. There are people who want to help you, they just don't know how.
     
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