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Loss of my mom

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Janice Taylor, Sep 16, 2017.

  1. Cassandra

    Cassandra Active Member

    There is no words to express the pain I am feeling either of the tragic way she died I didn't expect it getting off the phone with her a hour before and finding out a hour later she was gone it hurts you know did she suffer a painful death while she was still alive for a short moment I have so many questions myself and it really does hurt she was more then my baby sister she was truly my best friend also
     
  2. Janice Taylor

    Janice Taylor Member

  3. Cassandra

    Cassandra Active Member

    So she collapsed all of sudden that is truly horrible I know how much this hurts you and thank u also I appreciate it
     
  4. Janice Taylor

    Janice Taylor Member

    Yes i have soo many un answered questions she mom passed away labour day sept 4th 5.30 am and when the nurses did their rounds they went in to check on mom and she was unresponsive they called code blue which is cardiac arrest
     
  5. Janice Taylor

    Janice Taylor Member

    Im thinking her body just went so much trauma and stress that her heart gave out
     
  6. Cassandra

    Cassandra Active Member

    I hope I am helping I am sorry if I'm not I just know the pain you are experiencing and I never felt this hit as hard as it has I have been struggling day and night
     
  7. Janice Taylor

    Janice Taylor Member

    So have i cassandra
     
  8. Cassandra

    Cassandra Active Member

    And that is what happened to my sister her heart gave out from what her body went through and impact
     
  9. Janice Taylor

    Janice Taylor Member

    But the hardest thingfor our family is mom was doing better then bang..
     
  10. Cassandra

    Cassandra Active Member

    I try to hold on to her I just wish I could have saved her it happened so quick and unexpected also
     
  11. Janice Taylor

    Janice Taylor Member

    When i had gone up on the sunday morning the day before mom passed i noticed her breathing seemed laboured and she was on oxygen and had a cloth on her forehead i said to the nurse whats goin on with my mom and she said her oxygen level was low i think that was the start of her passing
     
  12. Cassandra

    Cassandra Active Member

    She was having a good day her boyfriend took her to the carnival and she called me on video chat and I haven't video chafed her in days she called me and she wanted to tell me and my two daughters that she loved us and that she would call me when she got home and instead I got a phone call from her dad's brother that my sister has been in a accident and that the state police need my parents to call them and all I could think was is my sister okay and my uncle just said cassy I need you to get a hold of your mother and i will call you back in a few and just like that I knew she was gone
     
  13. Janice Taylor

    Janice Taylor Member

     
  14. Janice Taylor

    Janice Taylor Member

    Thats awful.. We will talk again soon
     
  15. Cassandra

    Cassandra Active Member

    He called me back and said I am on my way to the hospital I am so sorry she did not make it get a hold of your mother and while I collapsed to the floor I called my mother over and over and it was 3 am when she finally answered and I said mom I need you to be sitting down right now and she said what I said mom Ashley is gone she just grasped and said what I said mom you have to get a hold of the indiana state police Ashley is gone mom she is gone and my mother voice changed and she said okay and we both broke down together as my mother was in California and after that I had tried to reach dad and I had to leave a voicemail and I texted my brother and then my older sister was at a concert and she didn't find out tell she got the text and got home in the morning after calling her over and over then I had to tell the rest of the family it was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I was speechless as grief hit me so hard I didn't want to believe she was really gone and I broke down and then I realised the pain I was going through the first day that I started having contractions and my stomach was hurting so much all I could think was my baby is coming and now my sister isn't here to see her niece born when I got to the hospital they were so supportive while I was in labor and then my daughter was born at 7 in the morning on August 7 2017 and then when I went in for my tubel I was in room 7 and all I could think was 7thheaven and I saw my sister standing there she was there and I named my daughter after her it has been very hard since to face each day the pain is so unreal it hurts alot and some days I go days without sleep and then I said I need help I need to get help and wedSday il be going in for my first counseling appointment
     
  16. Janice Taylor

    Janice Taylor Member

    Best of luck to you hugs..
     
    Cassandra likes this.
  17. Cassandra

    Cassandra Active Member

    Thank you so much for talking and I hope you get some rest tonight we can talk again anytime thank you for your support and you will be in my prayers
     
  18. Janice Taylor

    Janice Taylor Member

    Thanks sure we can talk tomorrow i wish we could chat in a private room is there a way to do that
     
  19. Cassandra

    Cassandra Active Member

    Thank you so much I'm a new member here as well but I think there has to be a private room on here or a messege box on profile
     
  20. Chesahale

    Chesahale New Member

    Hi Janice, I just read your post and wanted to share my story with you. I lost my mom under similar circumstances in 2015. My mom went to the hospital for a seemingly 'routine' exploratory, outpatient procedure and ended up in the ICU for 2 months before passing away. Initially we didn't think she was going to make it but she slowly started to make progress and we were hopeful, very hopeful. The day before she passed she was awake, talking, drinking..... when I called the next morning to find out how her night was (a daily routine I had adopted since the day she was admitted) I was told she had taken a turn and was again critical. She died that day and so did I. It's been over 2 years and I still live in the moment of her death. I'm trying to live but it is so difficult. I keep asking how much longer before the sadness goes away. I set small goals for myself to get back to life... Get out of bed daily, breath in and out, shower and brush my teeth.... some days are successful, some are not. For me the worst part right now is that everyone expects me to be over it by now. I have become a great actress putting on my stage face but truth be told it's exhausting. I just miss her so much!