Loss of my Husband is heartbreaking ..

My husband passed away 6 weeks ago after a year battle with cancer. He was the bravest man I ever knew for 46 years.
Never in my life could the past year we had together ,knowing that this may not be a good out come , thinking I could handle what came next .. but nothing prepare me for the pain I feel today..
I am compleatly at a stand still in my life . Shut in and shut down. This is the first time i have reached out .
In 1981 we list a 3 yr old son and I thought then my world had stoped but i had my brave man to pull me through life to continue to live . Im just not sure how to move on without my friend and the man who was my everything .

 

My husband of 31 years passed of cancer 5 months ago, but it seems like yesterday. I wish I could say it gets easier, it will never be the same and I will never be the same. Sometimes I feel stuck, and in my own way.
Sometimes it helps me to tell others stories about my husband, it's a bitter sweet feeling, but when I tell his story I feel him close to me.

 

In common with you both I loss my best friend and soulmate of 11 years suddenly from a massive heart attack on March 4, 2018. So I can only imagine how some feel that have been with their mates longer. Everyone says with time it will get better but sometimes I do ok and other times all day long I'm an emotional ball. I know that prayer for strength when I have that heaviness on my heart does ease the pain but it still hurts. I will keep u all in my prayers as well. In time we will all be united with our loved ones and as Rev 21:4 no more pain or sorrow it will all be a thing of the past.

 

Sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. I don't have any words of wisdom, but maybe sharing your story here will bring you some comfort.

 

Sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my husband 3months ago form an aggressive cancer. We were married 25 years. I totally understand what you are feeling. My husband was my spouse and best friend. I was hoping this forum would help me. All I can say to you is, take one day at a time. Try to exercise. I find swimming to be a good way to calm my emotions.

 

I too lost the love of my life 6 weeks ago

 

I have been thinking about your post. I lost my husband of 28 years, 1 year ago. I live 1 day at a time and sometimes 1 moment at a time. Some things have gotten easier over time. Last night I cooked dinner for myself and gave it all my effort as if I was making it to please my Phil who passed. It was delicious. I had been giving cooking little effort for just me and have been burning dinner due to loss of concentration. I just haven't cared much about myself....but I realized last night that it was a special moment of improvement that I did for myself. Small steps are important. I made the best corn chowder, potato soup ever. For me! I can finally go grocery shopping and not cry. Everything I did in life was to make my husband happy. It takes time to develop the skills to making yourself happy. I'm still working on it. I don't want to be stuck in grief. Tomorrow is another day and it will be good.

 

Thank you for replying to my post. That means a lot to me. I’m looking forward to the day when I can plan something that will make me feel happy. I am stuck. That’s the exact word I use to describe my life right now. STUCK. I need to try and take baby steps toward this whole new life I have to make for myself.

It seems so odd to start over with my life. Like, where to I begin? It’s really difficult for me to go outside my house. However, yesterday I did go to lunch with my step son’s wife and daughter. She’s such a delight. She just turned 13. At the top of her class; in 8th grade this year and taking 10th grade math. She’s on a Christian based traveling cheer team. I went to a private practice she had yesterday, after lunch, with a tumbling coach. She’s also a knock out gorgeous girl. So focused on school and cheer. A real sweetheart. I was literally afraid to go. I had already cried and tried to think of an excuse. After crying I felt better, got dressed and went. I felt accomplished and was with 2 people that care about me. The whole family is so busy with work and the 2 kids. Their son, who is 9, is adorable and plays football and baseball. I just don’t see or hear from them too often. I will NOT ever bother them with my stuff. My husband and his son were very close. He and his daughter were NOT. We do not bother with each other and that’s ok with me.

Anyway, your words were encouraging, especially the part “I don’t want to be stuck in grief”. I liked that.
Neither do I.

 

I lost my husband suddenly 3 weeks ago this morning. I lost my best friend. I’m at a complete loss. I don’t know how to cope with this. I wish I had something encouraging to tell you. I did speak briefly with a grief counselor from this site today. She found a bereavement group for me to go to. She was very kind and helpful.
Respectfully,
Elizabeth

 

I just to this forum and got to yours which I found some comfort, even if small right now. I'm sure you understand. I just lost my husband to cancer 2 weeks ago and am a total water shed. I can't imagine feeling any better as he became the rock of my life and I am totally lost and disoriented without him. I am so afraid, lonely and filled with such deep sadness. I cry no matter where I am at and have to find a way to escape public places. We did everything together and I miss his presence in my life, which now seems joyless and dark. I am struggling with guilt as well because I wish I could have done more for him. He was a very giving man and fun to be with. I am scared of my sadness.

 

I just posted for the first time and realized I didn't edit my post before posting and apologize. I left out a word. I just "came" to this forum, Cathy H. and am filled with fear and dread with my brutal sadness. Thank you for sharing. I am glad I found this site and hope it brings me comfort as time goes by.

 

So sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 4 years ago and it hurts so bad

 

I thought I would be much better than now.I lost my husband 12-29-18 and mother 1-29-19.Still getting teary in public and health is more impaired.weekends are terrible.everyone has families over.wanting to start attending church but have a hard time walking to get into bdlg.use electric scooters that belong to stores to shop and online for some things.i have spinal problems.

 

I lost my dear husband 18 months ago. I am now preparing to leave our house and downsize. I feel I am becoming someone I don’t recognise. I don’t know how to begin to rebuild , with intention, a life I could be happy in , if happiness is even a possibility. New job, new house, new expectations, all mixed up with the ever present sadness. How can I make decisions about mY life bing forward when my heart is still screaming for my old life?

 

Maggpie,I understand about fear of sadness.Also,fear of lonlyness,grief.my husband has been gone 12wks.,mother 8 wks.I do not know why I seem to get teary in stores.Health issues a problem making it all worse.