It will be one week since my boyfriend passed away tomorrow. Tomorrow will also be the first day back at work after losing him. I don’t know how to move on with my life when he won’t be there next to me. He dealt with addiction to adderall and Vicodin but his death is still ruled a mystery... that is until we get the coroners report. I have dealt with loss before, my grandma in 2004, my dad in 2005, my grandpa in 2009, my aunt in 2015 and now my boyfriend in 2017. The love of my life, I was with him for 10 years and this all seems so surreal. I find myself randomly breaking down and looking at how everything reminds me of him. I look at friends and family who are celebrating and happy during the holidays and all I can think about is.. what do I do with the stocking stuffers I already bought him? Life just seems so unfair and I wonder why life has decided that I should be the one to lose so many loved ones.