In the twinkling of an eye

Five weeks ago my huspand was diagnosed with liver cancer . They said he had a year to live. They said he was a liver transplant candidate. Then his kidneys failed. They kicked him out of the teaching hospital brought him home with inadequate pain meds, he began throwing up blood. He never even made it to hospice. I buried him on my birthday after only 5 weeks. 3 days later our dog began having seizures she died one week later. Because he left me nothing financially I have been doing delivery and my car blew up. A total loss.no way to replace it and I am doing thiswebsite because I am stranded out in the country after the love of my life of 40 years died 5 weeks ago. I am in shock. He and I have no family and just moved to this place-No friends. The grief is just stArting to hit and sometimes it goes on for hours. No one told me about the screaming that just comes out. And why does the crying physically hurt so much? I am trying to keep my chin up and rebuild my life but it feels like agony sometimes. Thankyou coolgrace