I just lost my Momma and I don't know what to do I just come home and cry and think of things that remind me of her she never leave my mind I just miss my momma i don't how to go on without her
Hi Kenne, I'm so sorry for you loss. The loss of a parent is challenging on so many levels, as they played so many important roles in our lives. I'm glad you have found our site, and you haven't already you can connect with those who have lost a parent by going to "Make a Connection" and "Find Others Who Are Grieving". It helps to talk with someone who has had a similar loss and I'm hoping you can do that here. If you have any questions about the site please just let us know~
Thank you i just need so help i dont know what to do i can't talk to my step dad or my wife because they don't I don't want them to know how much it hurts me and I feel like my life fell apart my Momma didn't even get to hold her first grand child and its kills me knowing my unborn son will never know his grandma
Hello Kenne, I lost my mom shortly after my daughter was born. I feel ripped off. My daughter will never know her grandma. I can't talk my husband, I don't want him to know I cry most of the day. I pull myself together before he gets home. I don't like him to see me like this. I can understand how you feel. ~feeling lost
Melissa, I'm so sorry for your loss. When we lose someone we love, we lose not just a very special person in our present, but we lose all the future plans and events that they're "supposed" to be here for. It can turn every happy occasion bittersweet, as we take joy in the wonderful things that can happen but feel incredible sadness that a person we love is not here to share it. It's not easy for everyone to understand, and I know a lot of people come for support because they feel it can be hard for their spouses to understand this. I think for most people, they have incredibly loving spouses who only want them to be happy. And in a strange way, that can be the problem. The spouse can feel so powerless to help, which is frustrating. The griever can sense the frustration and try to seem better to make their spouse happy in return! There's no easy answer of course, but I'm always an advocate for openness and communication whenever possible. To say to the people around us, "I know you want me to be happy, and I want that too but I think it is going to take some time. Please be patient with me"...and see what happens. If nothing else I don't think we lose anything when we open ourselves up to those closest to us, and there is truly always something can be gained (even just our own relief in having it out in the open). I hope you can find some comfort and support here, and I thank you for allowing us to be a part of your journey. Please take care~
Cassandra, I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your sister. It is such a special relationship, and there isn't a lot out there as far as support for those who have lost a sibling. We have forums that may help, and I hope you can find people to connect with here that will understand and validate the grief you are experiencing. Please let us know if there is anything you need. We wish you all the best~
I find myself crying more than ever right now because my son was just born 3 days before my Momma birthday and she will never get to hold him or even just see him one of the last picture I got was her putting her hand on my wife stomach because she said she could feel him move
Kenne, I'm so sorry for the pain you're feeling. Our grief does shift and shape over time, and we don't always get "better" in the way or in the time that we think we would. The bottom line is that these losses aren't just about the loss of a person, it's all about all the things we feel like they're missing. That can make the grief pretty unbearable at times, even at happy occasions like the birth of a child. I'm glad you've returned to us for support -we're here any time you need us. Please keep in touch, and please take care~
I feel as if I got no mother or father since my Momma past on she was the person I could talk to and my step dad her husband could care less he made it seem when she died like it was about time like if he was waiting out the clock or something he started talking about seeing his ex wife the day she passed away like he was finally free he didn't grieve like a husband should after losing their spouse they been married to for 20 years he made it seem like she was replace able and I don't know how I should feel I even suspected something was wrong cause 1 time I was going to the hospital to see my Momma and he was in his ex wife car his ex wife is one of my mom's friend or so called friend and I don't know anymore
I need help please I feel like I don't have anything my whole life is upside down since I lost my momma my life just isnt the same I miss my momma so freaking much it's almost a year and it still feel fresh like it just happened I don't have a mother I basically lost my father the day my momma died he started talking about getting with another woman like it didn't matter to him his wife died he was gone as soon as she died he wasnt even there for me when she died to comfort me and he still doesn't even try to spend any time with me other then 45 minutes a weeks with me and a grand daughter and a grandson who's named after him so I ain't got a mother or father since my momma died so basically my father along with my mother I just want my parents back i cant get my mother because she gone I need somebody to talk to please
Dear Kenne, You are overwhelmed. Start thinking about what you do have...the son and daughter who are a living legacy to your Mom. You will see evidence as they grow. Your Mom loved you to the marrow of her bones and she knew you felt the same about her. That knowledge must allow you to feel some comfort. When you think about your Mom, talk to her. Tell her about your day. Imagine what her answers would be. Keep her alive in your heart and mind. Stop worrying about he behavior of your step dad. He has to deal in his own way. You concentrate on you and your family and honoring your Mom. I talk to my deceased husband every day .I have even written him letters he will neer see. I miss him terribly but I will not allow him to die again by not thinking and speaking about him to anyone. I mention him in most conversations. He is alive in my heart and whenever I think of him or say his name he is alive to me. I am a realist and I know he has ceased to exist. But, if I think and speak about him and to him, he remails alive until I no longer need to do this. Sheila
Hi Kenne, I lost my daughter on March 15th this year. She was 38 years old and died suddenly of a heart attack. I'm still in shock and disbelief of it all. Im here on this site trying to find solace and trying to make sense of everything Im going thru. When I read your message I wanted to reach out to you. There is a special bond between mothers and their children. It sounds as though your bond with your mother was very close. I also had a dad who chose other women over his kids. He walked out on my mom and us 3 kids when we were very small. Over the years we had to watch him get involved with other women and their children while ignoring us and failing to support us in any way. We did without many things because of his lack of love for us. He did come back around when he got old and sick and needed us to take care of him. Unfortunately our lives went on without him when we were younger so he didnt build a foundation with us for his later years. Its not that we didnt forgive him, we did. But he came back because he needed us, yet failed to think about how vulnerable we were as kids and how much we needed him at that time. It was sad and we didnt deliberately try to hurt him, but he paid the price during his last year and a half on this earth. He got stuck depending on his sister and her family who stole from him and cheated him out of his money. Im 54 years old and I still feel the pain of my dad leaving us kids and us crying and begging him not to go. It seemed that he wanted a different life and didnt care about the first one that he helped to create. I dont understand how a parent can do that. My kids were everything to me. The best thing I can tell you to do is to forgive him and then move on with your life. You have children, so be everything to them that your dad was not to you. Someday he may realize what he has done and come back asking for your forgiveness. If he does, then show him that you are merciful and are above what he has done to you. As for the loss of your mother, I am so sorry. But you know, she is still alive, she is just in another realm where you cannot yet go. She knows you love and miss her and she will be waiting for you when God calls you home. So tell your children all about her, share your memories of her with them and help them to know her the way that you do. Take comfort in God's love because He cares so much about you and what you are going through. Don't ever feel like you are alone because He never leaves us or forsakes us. He wants you to be at peace and to go on living the life that He created for you. Your mother had a tie to be born and a time to die. In between those times she helped to bring you into this world. Live the life she wanted you to have. Make her proud so that when you see her again, you can share your accomplishments with her. Be at peace Kenne.
