Hard to believe

Discussion in 'Loss of Adult Child' started by dix, Nov 5, 2017.

  1. dix

    dix New Member

    Lost my son June 2016. It was sudden. He was fine that morning and that same afternoon, developed a blood clot. They did all they could do at the hospital but couldn't save him. He died that evening.
    It's been a year now, and I am not any better. I am, if anything, worse. There is no comfort. Exactly two months later on the day my husband suddenly died from a bleed in his brain. I don't pray anymore. I don't even know why I'm here. I really don't know why I joined this group, maybe to hear something other than nothing.
     
    Mona15 and Jenny Browning like this.
  2. Hi. My name is Jenny and it has been 8 years for my youngest son who was killed in a four-wheeler accident at age 20 and it's been 3 years for my daughter who is deaf and died suddenly at age 32 it has been 8 years for my son and three to my daughter and it just like it was yesterday I'm just trying to figure out a way to get through each day and put one foot in front of the other because life is I knew it doesn't exist anymore
     
  3. dix

    dix New Member

    Jenny,
    I don't think there is a way to figure out how to get thru the day. In my case I just exist. Someone said I was stronger than I thot. I told them not true, I have no choice.
    There is no happiness or joy
     
    Jenny Browning likes this.
  4. Just feels I have been dead inside I guess for 8 years time just keeps marking on. I don't understand how people can you know that my children are gone there's no color everything is in black and white anymore and I just I'm here because I don't know why but I am here the pain is just you can't you can't describe the pain to anybody except we know the pain feels like and I have to do it twice not just once. Maybe we can help each other just breathing
     
  5. Yeah I love that saying people think we are just such strong people. We're not strong we don't know how to live anymore we're dead inside.
     
  6. dix

    dix New Member

    The death of a child
    It's like losing your breath
    And never catching it again,
    It's a forever panic attack
    feeling your heart dying as
    your soul is screaming for them
    and no matter what you try to
    do you continue to lose your mind.
     
    Jenny Browning likes this.
  7. Describe very well. But I thought by now but maybe the pain with dull I do have times that I don't cry everyday cuz last 10 years starting the death of my son just got double the pain and nobody seems to understand me think I need to be over this by now I will never be over this I just can't believe
     
  8. Well well the information and probably have complicated grief and you probably do too which is grief process that stays in the acute phase a lot longer than anybody else would. I don't think I'll ever get out of it I don't know that I want to get out of it I don't want to feel better my life it's not good anymore my faith is shaken to the Core
     
  9. Thank you so much for letting me vent and you are a newer bereaved parent than I am it's the first time I've really talked to anybody about my feelings in 10 years