February 8 2018 I lost my Dad....

Discussion in 'Grief in Common Updates, Questions & Answers' started by Morgan Benson, Apr 5, 2018.

  1. Morgan Benson

    Morgan Benson New Member

    Hi my name is Morgan and I would like to talk to someone that knows how I am feeling about the loss of my Dad...
     
  2. Morgan Benson

    Morgan Benson New Member

    Me and my family are having a real hard time with the loss of our dad... It all started when my dad was falling alot so he ending up going into a nursing/rehabilitation center... While my dad was there he ended up getting pneumonia and it's the type where if you don't move a lot it sets in... Well late at night I received a call from the center where he was at the lady on the phone proceeded to tell me we are sending your father to the hospital... So I got ahold of everyone and we all went over to see what was going on... They said your father's breathing is very bad and as soon as we take him off the machine that puts air in him his O2 stats drop bad... Not knowing what really was going on until later... He was admitted into the hospital where they could keep a close eye on him until they could get him stable... My dad had called me when he was feeling a little better and he told me in tears he didn't know how much longer he could hang on and then was telling me how much he loved me and I lost it I started to cry with him... We both decided to get ahold of hospice and get they involved with this and the only reason was it was for pain management... So we got him in with them I had my dad living with me for five days and it was so bad I couldn't do it anymore... I broke down and called hospice and told them that I couldn't do it anymore he need more pain meds than I could give without getting into trouble... Hospice came that very night and was so helpful they got my dad transferred into a place called Highland Cottage the next morning... So it was a Sunday that my dad arrived at said place so of course we had no clue really what was going on until the doctor showed up on Monday evening... So I was talking to the doctor and said why is he doing these really strange thing like he was laying in bed at my house using his thumb and other fingers like he was counting we I asked him what he was doing he told me I am counting flies so I told that to the doctor.... Well the doctor looked at his charts and then myself and my brother and everyone that was with us had a bomb hit us right in the chest with what the doctor had to say next we were not prepared for this heart breaking news she stood there and said that your father is in end stage emphysema!!!! Then with a dumb look on our faces I then asked what does that mean what's happening with my dad? She then proceeded to tell us that our dad was going to pass away and tears started falling down from all of our eyes... So then with that said with no knowledge of how bad our dad was I asked the worst question ever how long does he have? She looked at us with sorrow in her eyes and said it could be from now to a week!!! Never leaving my dads side other than to do the normal we watched him slip away there were so many heart breaking moments we went through we were watching him die and it was the worst thing ever... We were getting ready to get some rest for the night we were getting ready to step outside for are last smoke of the night I of course forgot something went back into retrieve my phone and when I turned around I looked at my dad and began to freak out trying to get everyone back in there I watched my dad take his last two breaths and he was gone... I really am having a hard time with this...
     
  3. Marcella

    Marcella New Member

    Hi Morgan, I lost my dad as well back in February 2018 and been having a very difficult time with it all. The loss is palpable. I think what is worrying me most and since I am new to this type of grief, is that I will remain like this forever. I don't want to be so I keep going back and forth with the grieving process itself. Everyone says it takes time. I completely understand this, but I've never felt so alone in my life. Unfortunately, my entire family lives out of state and I am alone in this.

    I am sorry to hear of your story and I understand what you are feeling. From the sounds of your story, it's pure trauma. I think this add to the grief. Someone told me (who has experience in grief counseling) remove the story line from your grief. Or at least try. Just stick to the grief alone. I don't know, that's what they told me. I hope you are doing slightly better????
     
    griefic likes this.