Ex-spouse's suicide and no family connection

Discussion in 'Suicide Loss' started by Emerald, Jan 12, 2018.

  1. Emerald

    Emerald New Member

    Hello. My ex-husband died recently far away from where I reside. I heard the tragic, shocking news when a long time friend phoned me. The mornings and nights are difficult. I am also unemployed and receiving UI so not a lot of daily distractions which I feel is both a positive and a negative. We had no children and he remarried. Over the years, he, his family and I drifted apart and/or had a falling out. My mother died several years ago and I have no family left. My ex-husband was my mentor and was an integral part of my life. I cannot focus or concentrate, cannot deal with people's demands and am honoring the family's request to not be contacted. One of his family members did contact me (and I am forever grateful) and we talked for about 10 minutes. I have gained 8 lbs in one week. I can't believe he's no longer alive. It's complicated and I am scared to talk about how I feel; I fear judgment but am willing to be judged for my mistakes in our marriage. There is not a lot out there for ex-spouses and it would help to see if I can get some support here. Thank you for being here. I am staying upright by meditation and being with others in a chanting group that meets once or twice a week but mostly I am alone and watch Youtube videos.
     
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Thank you for being here with us and for sharing your story. And I think you're right...it can be hard to find people who will understand this type of loss. When someone was such a big part of our lives I think in some ways we will always love them, and always be affected by their absence when they're gone. In some ways we also grieve the relationship we didn't get to have, for whatever reason things didn't work out.
    I can promise you that you won't be judged here. This is a place to feel safe, and I'm so glad you've found us. I truly hope we can provide the care and support you need. Please take care~