Death of my daughter from opioid addiction

Discussion in 'Loss from Substance Abuse' started by Donna, Sep 3, 2016.

  1. sritten30

    sritten30 New Member

    Hi. I'm pretty new here, but I have been reading these threads and feel the pain that we all feel. I just lost my husband 12 weeks ago. I came home one Saturday afternoon to him on our bed already gone. The police said it was heroin with fentanyl. I had no idea that he was even using drugs, none at all. People keep telling me that is how addicts are; they lie, steal, will do anything to get their next fix. We hadn't even celebrated our first wedding anniversary. What makes things worse is that others knew he was using drugs and never told me. The anger and hatred I have inside is overwhelming at times. How could I be so blind? I know this isn't my fault. I know I didn't force him to use heroin, crack, and whatever else he was using. I just can't believe he lied to me and then left me without ever telling me he was an addict. How do I go on and ever trust again?
     
  2. PhyllisG

    PhyllisG Active Member

    Hey Sandy, hope you are hanging in there. I see you mentioned feeling alone in your grief. I have just started feeling that way sometimes ever since the one year anniversary (what I call "THE DAY"). I've done so much reading on the stages of grief and most of the explanations you see are 100% correct. I believe the reason for the lonely feeling is because there isn't another person on this earth except for YOU who understands what a mother feels when she loses a child - no matter how old the child is. We can't really expect others to truly get it. Please don't think you are alone. People who say they "care" or are "there for you" really just don't know what to do because they cannot fully understand your agony.

    No, your lives will never be the same, mine will never be the same, nor will the lives of the parents who are losing their children each and every day, all over this country and the world. But you can have a peaceful life knowing that Adam could not be in a better place, he no longer suffers, and last but not least, your Adam will never have to endure the pain and grief of losing you, his father, or anyone else he is close to. I hope that brings you some peace of mind.

    Love and hugs. I will pray for you as July 23rd approaches.

    Phyllis
     
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  3. PhyllisG

    PhyllisG Active Member

    Thanks KER and Sandy: KER, I hope so very much you are still clinging to the promise of being reunited with your Angel, just as I am. I truly believe that we will all see our Angels again. All of God's Angels are home, safe and sound.

    Sandy, you have truly been on my mind; I see your anniversary date is tomorrow. I will pray for your comfort and strength as well. Try to focus on the celebration of Adam's life - do not dwell on the reasons he is no longer with you. Your Adam is in the greatest place anyone can be. Let's all remember.....God is in control - not us.

    Love, prayers and hugs to all.

    Phyllis
     
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