I lost my husband last October to small cell carcinoma...he was my everything, my soulmate, my best friend...my heart and soul. He always showed me unconditional love, treated me like I was a queen. He helped me see my worth and helped me stand up for myself. He was a disabled veteran...Army. He loved Christmas, it was his favorite time of the year. Last year at Christmas was awful, with just having lost him, but I had lots of family and friends keeping me occupied. This year, is worse! I still have my family and friends, but it's been a year, and everyone has their own lives and I have my grief. Losing him has turned my world upside down and inside out. I don't know how to move on without him. I lost track of him for so long and finally found him again on his birthday in 2014; we were married on June 1st 2015...I had four precious months with him as his wife before he passed. He was my first crush, my forever love...I'm lost now. Everyone keeps telling me time will heal this pain, but I can't see past my broken heart. If anyone wants to pray for me, I would be so grateful. This is the most awful thing ever. How do I move forward when I am still in the horrible moment of losing him? I feel so guilty when I have good days because he isn't here to share it with me. I am so very blessed, I have 5 precious grand babies...they fill my life with such joy, but in the background of my mind, I feel so alone. I see couples shopping together for the holidays and I lose it. I see something he would have loved and I lose it. Missing him and wondering what our future would've held is my constant now...I'm just lost. Thank you for your time...God bless
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my love on July 17th to a short illness. He was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer in August 2019. He sailed through his chemo and radiation, so tough and so optimistic. He became ill in late April with a side effect of his new medication and did not respond to treatment. He was hospitalized for 18 days and I was with him through the whole thing. We were childhood friends that reconnected later in our 40’s. This time together for 18 years. I have so many of the same feelings that you describe here. I miss him every minute of every day. Cry for him a lot. I try to live my life the way we were living, honor him and do something for us everyday. The holidays, especially Thanksgiving and the time up to Christmas, are hard. We always hosted family at thanksgiving, and the time leading up to to Christmas was ours. I will certainly pray for you to have peace and strength at the holidays and always.
