A lonely path ahead.

Discussion in 'Coping After a Sudden Loss' started by Cindy Stpierre, Jan 7, 2018.

  1. Cindy Stpierre

    Cindy Stpierre New Member

    Hello all, not sure exactly how to start this off, but.. first of all, i truely want to say my heart is sorry for all that has lost a special person. :-( I lost my husband. Was with him for 29 years. He crossed over back in june of 2017. 6 months now. At first, i was litterally walking around in a daze. I was numb. He had many medical conditions. Heart disease, bleeding ulcers, much pain in the hands and feet, i swear this man had almost everything wrong with him. I came home one day from work to find him on the floor. He couldn't move. Long story short, he had, had, a massive stroke and was on the floor for over 8 or 9 hrs with no one there to help. Was rushed to a major hospital, was there for over a week. Thought he was going to get better..but then took a turn for the worse. He was on life support, we never spoke of end of life paper work or end of life wishes. Ultimately, it was my word that was the final word to take him off of life support. This still bothers me. I do have family but because my husband and i were in process of buying our first time home, i made a decision to proceed and since i bought this home, none of my family comes to visit. I moved to a place where i know no one, and town is extremely small. I keep trying to put one step in front of the other. I have gone on dates just so as not to be lonley...but not sure if i am making many huge mistakes. My heart still feels empty. :-( Thinking buying this home away from many friends and family was a mistake.... any words of advice out there?.. would greatly appreciate your thought. Thank you
  2. griefic

    griefic Administrator Staff Member

    Hi Cindy, thank you for being here and for sharing your story with us. Besides this loss, it sounds like you are also dealing with so much change. On top of that, there's the lingering questions a lot of grievers have...did I do the right thing, should I have done something differently? There's no true answer to any of this, and no way of knowing how things could have turned out, but it doesn't stop us from questioning the choices we've had to make. It's important to remember that we're all doing the best we can, and we make the best decision we can with the information we had at the time. That's all we can expect from ourselves or from anyone in our lives. I'm not sure any other big changes would be a good idea at this time. Maybe just taking some time to settle where you are, knowing that you can always move back or make a change down the road if you need it. Moving can be exhausting and you need to consider how much energy you have to devote to another change right now.
    Take one moment at a time and focus only on what's right in front of you. This is a long journey for sure, but there is help to walk you through it. I hope you can find some of that support here. I wish you all the best...